Legacy Builders Pt. 2: Navigating Fatherhood, Ministry, and Entrepreneurship with Richard Melton
“I have extraordinary faith now to pray for people because when I look back at all the things God did, how could I ever doubt Him again?”
This episode is the second in a two-part series about what it looks like to build a legacy, specifically in fatherhood, ministry, and entrepreneurship. In this episode, Abby will be interviewing her grandfather Richard Melton, the owner of Poor Richard's Antiques in Spooner, WI.
He'll be sharing his personal testimony of redemption as well as speaking on...
- surrounding yourself with people who believe and hope for you
- praying with a "But if not..." faith
- being strong in your convictions with grace and gentleness
- leaving a legacy of being a man of God and a loving father
“If you love your children, discipline them and give them a line in the sand, and you follow through with your discipline with love and grace, I believe it does a lot for fatherhood.”
About Richard
Richard Melton is the owner of Poor Richard's Antiques in Spooner, WI. He is an entrepreneur, was a pastor for nine years, and is still heavily involved in the church. He currently holds the titles of husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather. Richard is passionate about leaving a legacy of faith in God and persistent prayer.
Read the Podcast
Intro: Welcome to Beyond the Bar, the podcast where coffee and conversation are a catalyst for growth. If you’ve been searching for that coffee-with-a-friend experience that leaves you feeling seen, met, and encouraged, you’ve come to the right place. So grab your cup, listen up, and together we’re going Beyond the Bar.
Abby: Hey friends, welcome to Beyond the Bar. I’m your host Abby. Today’s episode is the second in our two-part mini series, we’re calling it “Legacy Builders: Navigating Fatherhood, Ministry, and Entrepreneurship”. So our last episode we sat down with Matthew Johnson. This episode, I get to sit down with the builder of kind of my own family’s legacy: my grandpa, Richard Melton. So I’m excited to have him on and I’ll intro him here, but he’s done fatherhood, entrepreneurship, and ministry. He’s worked as an antique dealer and that’s actually the property where Redemption is on. So if you’ve been to the shipping container, that’s my grandparents’ property. So my whole story and being able to do Redemption has all kind of started because of him being willing to let me be there. So excited to sit down with him and dive into all of the things. So here he is, Richard Melton!
Richard: Hello! (chuckles)
Abby: Thanks for being here…
Richard: You’re welcome.
Abby: …I appreciate it. This is a little out of your wheelhouse a little bit with all the cameras and the audio stuff, so how you feeling?
Richard: I feel great.
Abby: Okay (laughs), okay good. Well, we’re gonna dive right into the episode. I obviously have known you my whole life, you’ve known me my whole life, but could you, for our listeners, just give a little background onto your story? Who you are, what you do, how you got here?
Richard: Alright, I got here ‘cause my granddaughter invited me. I don’t know where to start. I was born in Montana, came to this area when I was like two years old. I don’t know what else you want to know.
Abby: Okay, born in Montana, came here when you were two years old, and then what was growing up like?
Richard: I was a wild teenager, rebellious, had a Godly mother who prayed for me constantly. It’s a whole new story, I got so wild and so lost my mother and my grandmother went to a church they don’t even normally go to and asked for prayer for God to save me because they knew I was headed in a really bad direction.
Abby: Yeah. How did it happen?
Richard: How did it happen?
Abby: Well, how did that stage of life kind of look like? You said you were really rebellious.
Richard: Well, I was very wild. I did everything that I shouldn’t have been doing, alcohol, smoke, was a bad, bad child. I was, didn’t respect authority, especially my parents. I guess when I look back I was just really looking for my father’s attention. He was a workaholic, a great dad, he later became saved later in my life and my mother though never gave up on me, praise God. So, I had an amazing conversion, when I was, when I graduated from high school I went to the cities to work for a little while. They didn’t like that, if they moved a sign I didn’t even know how to get to work, so, so it wasn’t for me. So I came back, went to vocational school to become a welder.
The story how I met the Lord is quite dramatic. I had a friend that wild as me or wilder, and it was a big deal when you’re in vocational school to go up to Lake Superior in the spring smelting. So of course, uh, headed up there, we went, and it was a pretty bad storm that night. There’s a long pier that goes out to a lighthouse in Lake Superior. It’s probably a quarter of a mile out there. The stones in the ramp are probably 20, 25 feet high. My buddy got this wild idea to go out to the lighthouse, so we started out there. Thank God I didn’t have waders on, but I had all my heavy clothes on. The waves were washing over 20, they were probably another, I don’t know, they were huge waves. We get just about to the lighthouse and the waves have washed all the pier away, except for maybe 10 feet where the lighthouse was, so now you’re looking at a 20 foot drop onto stones, back up onto the pier. I turned around to go back to the shore, my buddy said “Oh, no.” He knew water real well, I didn’t, he said, “These waves are gonna come in two at a time, then they’re gonna break for a few seconds, and when they break you go down on them rocks, get up on that by the lighthouse”, well, he, he went and the next thing I knew I was looking at water several feet over my head. If the waves would have rode me either direction over the pier, out into the lake, or washed me back into the lake, I certainly wouldn’t have, I would have drowned it for sure. As it is, I rode the top of the wave and came down alongside the pier, which I could see water several feet, maybe 10 feet above me. I couldn’t get out. I started to actually feel my spirit leave my body. They say drowning is a way to go and I certainly don’t want to ever do that. That’s happened to me twice. I struggled to go. I had- my past, they say, flashes before you, and certainly mine did. But because my mother and my grandmother just went to a prayer meeting to pray for me, I believe God was sovereign and heard their prayer and I was ready to let go of my life. And I tried one more time, and it was like a staircase of rocks that went up on top of the pier. I struggled to get back to shore. My buddy, he thought he was going to watch me drown. He couldn’t see me, of course, I’m under that much water. He came back, how I got back, I got to shore, and I said, “Man, guys, I’m done doing all this wild stuff.”
Well, that’s in the spring, smelting’s in April, May, maybe. That didn’t last very long. I was right back to my wild ways until August of that very year. It was a bad storm. I’d got home- probably drunk- in the middle of the night, five o’clock in the morning. My mom nd dad were out in a barn, or I think they were yet milking cows. It was a bad storm. And my mother taught me that there was going to be an end to the world, and Jesus was going to come back, and I thought, “If this is the night that He comes back I’m going to go to Hell.” I got out of my bed, I got on my knees, and I said, “Lord, I don’t know how real you are. If you are, I need your help and I’m going to give my life to You.” The things began to flood out of me, the darkness, all the way… and I’m not perfect, of course, but the main things, the cursing, “I-swear-every-other-word”, they were gone. The desire to smoke was gone. The desire to drink was gone. I was basically engaged to be married to this girl; I wasn’t faithful, I was just a mess. And that stuff fell off of me, and I had like a Paul-in-the-Bible’s conversion. It was immediate and it was amazing. I remember going to the barn and telling my mother I became a Christian and that was one of the happiest women you’ll ever see.
Abby: Did she believe you then?
Richard: They had to believe me because I had such a radical change in my life. I remember my best friend, we had a beer party scheduled for that very weekend. I called him over and I said, “I got something to tell you.” I can still see, I’m sitting in the back of my Ford on the trunk, and I said, “I got something to tell you.” And I told him what happened to me, and he said, “That’ll never last.” That was 50-some years go and still lasted. And, um, so I went to the party, I went into the bar, and it was like the Lord said, “I’m gonna wait out here.” He didn’t go in with me. And because I wouldn’t drink, these guys mocked me and drug me outside and forced alcohol down me ‘cause I wouldn’t drink. And I knew then that’s not the place I ever wanted to be again unless I was sharing the Lord with somebody; which, I did street ministry and some of that. But so, I had an amazing, amazing conversion. So it’s lasted all these years and hopefully it gets better every year.
Abby: I think that if anybody knows you- they may or may not actually know that story or kind of conversion, and just like growing up being, like you said, rough kid, really rebellious, so definitely a redemption story to be sure.
Richard: It is a redemption story to be sure. God redeemed me, not just for me, so that I could share the Lord with others just like you do and help redeem them.
Abby: Which, you’d done business then for most of your life, so you said you went to school for welding and vocational stuff, but that’s not where you stayed.
Richard: No, I never welded again. I started working in a milk reload in Chetek, Wisconsin. My dad was a member of NFO, which is a national farm organization. I got a job there, reloading milk tankers. I was young, I was 19. So I worked there, and then later, within the next year or so, I met my wife. And so we got married. I was 20. She was 19, moved to Chetek where I worked, rented a little bitty house in Chetek. And so, as I worked at the reload, then later I got to be a milk inspector- I inspected farms. I was a field man, they called him, tested milk at the reload. So that’s what I did. The interesting story about my business, which, which is selling antiques. In this house that my wife and I rented- $85 a month, the little house with the garage- this man and his wife were from Chicago. He was very elderly even then. All of his parents’ stuff was in the attic. Even their wedding outfit, so this goes back maybe 140 years of stuff. Well, my wife and I never went up there and never bothered it, we might go up there and look but we never messed with anything; the garage was full of antiques. And we were good renters, I rented there, maybe, I don’t know if it was a year or two, and I just, I finally wanted to move up here. And I got to be able to transfer it up here. And so I called the man from Chicago and I said, “I’m moving.” And in the meantime, he had lost his wife. He said, “I don’t know what I’m going to do with all that stuff.” I said, “I don’t know, but I’m moving.” My father said, “Why don’t you offer to buy some of it?” So I called him and I said, ‘Would you be willing to sell me everything here"?” Well of course he was elated. He didn’t have to come up and bother with anything. So we had a, my mom put on her, his mother’s wedding outfit, which would have been well over 100 years old, sit out in my yard, and we had a yard sale. People came and I thought, “Man, they’re crazy. They’re fighting over-” I was selling stuff that was probably worth $100 for a dollar. I didn’t know. But I had kept a couple of things out of the attic that I liked. And I appreciated the old things. And so as it goes, I’m on the road inspecting farms, and my neighbor said, “Hey, if you ever find an old dresser I need an old dresser.” Well a few days later, I see an old dresser in a garage, I asked the guy if he wants to sell it, he sells it to me, and his neighbor said, “Hey, I need a cupboard.” And pretty soon I find a cupboard. And I thought, “Man, this is kind of fun.” And I loved old stuff; I was intrigued with it. So I began to look for other people for other things. And my buddy said, “Well, why don’t you start a store?” Well, I started my shop in 1976 in a little bitty part of my garage I just built. And so I worked full-time yet, put a sign out on the highway, and I wasn’t even there. My wife would sell us stuff and there we go. So that started my shop, little bitty garage.
I continued to work at the reload for and then sell antiques on the side. My boss hated that I did that. He was- he did not understand. And so my buddy finally said, “Hey, you need to start us- you need to do this full-time.” And I said, “I just don’t think I can do that.” And back then my wife by, as the years go by, we have four, four children. We get the old Creamery in Spooner- Spooner Creamery, where the motel is now. What is it, Northwestern? Yeah, the big motel. That was an old creamery. It was vacant because it went broke. And so I rented a part of the old cooler, where my wife was, four little kids, no running water. She had to take them to the gas station when I had to go to the bathroom, and I continued to work. I would go there in the morning, start a fire, wood fire. It was pretty rugged. Karen’s, a lot of friends said, “You need to leave him, you shouldn’t have to do this.” But she’s a great partner and she did it to serve us. So then we were there a couple of years in that, in that creamery and my boss did not like me and we had a little conflict and he let me go, but what’s surprising; right before I let m go, I bought a, the house in Spooner, the antique house which happens to be a Sears & Roebuck’s house that was later became a coffee shop when I sold it, but so, we went there, I had just bought that home for a store, and then I lost my job, nd I thought, “How am I ever going to make it?” The Lord knows is one of the best things, not the best thing, of course, that will happen to me, but God arranged it, and that’s, from there on, it’s 100 miles an hour. (chuckles)
Abby: I don’t even think I knew the story about how you started in antiques.
Richard: That’s how I started.
Abby: That’s so crazy.
Richard: Yeah, and so we went from a little bitty garage to now five buildings full, hundreds of thousands of items… it’s a pretty big deal, which, you know, you’re there.
Abby: But one of the things, so I don’t think I heard the story growing up about how you actually started getting into antiques, but one of the stories that I have heard you and Grandma talk about is, you mentioned you had four kids, lost the job, antiques is your thing now, but one of the stories that I have heard you guys talk about and I’d like to get into it a little bit is, there was a period in that time where you actually kind of fell into some heavy depression and Grandma had to really take over managing the business and running that, raising the four kids, and trying to kind of help support you. Could you talk about that season of life a little bit?
Richard: Yeah, what had happened, I was refinishing furniture till working full time at that time, working a lot of times until 1 or 2 in the morning, so what I tried to do is refinished furniture, have it ready for the weekend, the Saturday, put on the outside on the corner where the store was in Spooner. And so I had done that for a long period of time, and using caustic materials. If I wasn’t refinishing furniture I was involved heavily with people, the church. So over a period of time, I became very exhausted. Actually, being an entrepreneur, which you are, I wanted to start another store in Siren, Wisconsin. Everybody said, “Don’t do it.” Actually started a wildlife museum there with an antique shop. A lot of people don’t know that. So I was stressed to the limit, I worked way too much, I never want, my- depression runs a little bit in my family, I shouldn’t say a little bit, a lot, and my father dealt with it. I never thought I’d ever be depressed, but I was exhausted. The doctor said, “Here’s what’s going on with you.” In fact, I was on the telephone and I began to be so depressed, it’s like being in a cave with not a bit of light. That’s what extreme depression does: you see no hope. I didn’t lose my faith, but because of the hormone adrenaline that’s in your brain, I had none left. What happens, the doctor said, when you get exhausted, that hormone kicks in and gives you more energy, I didn’t have any left. What he should have told me is to go home, close your store, and don’t do anything for a couple weeks. I was on the phone with the doctor, called, and I was on the phone with someone else, he broke in and said, “You need, you need help.” And I thought, “That’s weird.”
So, when you get depressed, I was so overwhelming for what I was doing. I told somebody “I’d sell this place a dime and a dollar.” He ends up buying it, buys my store for ten cents on a dollar, semi-loads for basically nothing. But when you get to the point of that extreme depression, what happens- I didn’t eat, I crawled into the fetal position for days. I wept. My oldest son, Nathaniel, was probably, I don’t know, was 10 or 12 years old. Never saw his father like that. This goes on for, plus I just started the store in Siren, had a museum there, plus a wildlife museum, Whitetail Deer Museum, plus a third of another part of the shop with antiques, and then I went into business with another guy, which I shouldn’t have done because he was a non-believer. So in that time I became so exhausted that I was- so, the doctor, of course, prescribes medicine for my depression. I remember driving home on Highway 70 gong home- now I wouldn’t recommend this for everybody, and not saying that medicine’s not right for somebody: I believe I felt like the Lord tell me to throw the medicine out the window. And I did. One of my customers was, a good customer, was a registered nurse, a really good friend. She called me the next day, she said, “How are you doing on the medicine?” I said, “I threw it away.” She about freaked. She said, “You can’t do that.” I told her, “I believe the Lord’s gonna restore me.”
I think it was probably three months of this process of wasted- my wife, as you said, had to kind of take over. She had to work in Siren because I’m- now my store in Spooner is emptied. So I have no inventory now, no money because the money we got for what was in the store, I used to pay off what I have. So there I am with really no inventory, exhausted, no money. What am I going to do? A Christian woman, Tom Kelby’s mother, God bless her heart, gave me $100 and said, “In a year from now, I believe God’s going to restore you and your store will be bigger than it was.” I said, “Well, that’s a lot of faith", but through a couple circumstances, miraculous miracles that I share with very few people because it was so astounding, that a year later, my store was filled up, was bigger, bigger than it was a year before. Amazing story. God provides, and as I came out of my depression, I realized the reason God took me through that was so that I would have, because I ministered to a lot of people, became a pastor, I was a pastor for nine years, that I would have never been able to deal with people’s depression because it irritated me. I thought, “How can you be depressed?” I didn’t understand that. And so I believe God took me through that period of my life to show me and to experience what it’s like and to give hope to people that don’t have hope. That’s some of it.
Abby: I have always been really encouraged by that part of your testimony. Encouraged by the fact that you’ve openly shared about brokenness and about feeling hopeless and just the resiliency of even Grandma, which is, you know, more of her story too, but you guys had four kids, she’s watching her husband in a fetal position, you know, not getting out of bed, and she just talked about what that struggle felt like and “How do I make it? How do I work the hours I’m working, take care of four kids, and Richard’s just out. He’s just done.” And you know, you guys have people pray for you and you were, you were going to the doctor, you were trying to figure it out, so the fact that that is in your story. And then the Lord did redeem the thing and you got out of bed eventually and the Lord, you know, restored even the business that you had sold in the moment. I think it’s just such an encouraging testimony that He doesn’t leave you where you’re at.
Richard: Thank God, um, yeah, He didn’t leave me where I was at. One of the important things, if people are ever going through that, I had Godly people that I was humble enough to say: I need prayer. Actually, one of my friends thought he was afraid I was gonna kill myself. Which I never felt like doing because I still knew Jesus, and um, that I had constant brothers I have praying for me, I was at the alter every Sunday, I had a, I had a Godly man walk with me. I can still remember walking down the street, and he said, “Someday you’re going to look back and you’re gonna say, ‘I’m glad this happened’” and I said, “I could never do that.” But I’m here to say, I am glad it happened. It was a hard time, but it was a good time for me.
Abby: How do you… Now you said you went to the alter multiple times, you had people praying for you. What do you do when you’re not hearing the answer or it doesn’t feel like you’re getting an answer to the prayer?
Richard: That’s a great question. You have to rely then on somebody that has faith with you. Oh, they’re speaking faith to me. And so I am using their faith, I’m saying, “Okay, I’m gonna trust-” and I trusted these people, they’re Godly people. I was trusting that they were hearing from the Lord, even though I felt like I wasn’t hearing much right then. It was a period of, I think it was like three months, which, some people go through it for years. Thank God I didn’t give up. I kept praying. I kept asking God. I remember specifically one night, sitting in a chair, and I heard, I believe, Satan speak to me this way. Now you can say, “Well, that’s weird.” Well you can say it’s weird. I didn’t hear a physical voice, but I heard this: Satan- or, “God has got your spirit, but I’m gonna destroy your mind. And what good are you without a mind?" I believe that’s what really, really started me to really say “this is enough” and after I heard that I decided, “You will not destroy my mind. You’ll not kill my spirit. I’m going to trust God.” So really, having others around you that can believe with you is so very very important.
Abby: And you mentioned getting that hundred dollar bill and having someone speak truth over you and declare hope for you when you couldn’t hope for yourself. Did you believe her in that moment?
Richard: Well it was pretty hard to believe. I had an empty store, didn’t have any amount of income. I still had some of the stuff in Siren at the antique shop, but not enough to live and raise four kids. I just bought this, basically a store in Spooner, and I have to trust her faith, not mine. I mean, I have extraordinary faith now to pray for people because when I look back at all the things God did, how could I ever doubt Him again? When I pray for the sick, I have an amazing faith that God is gonna answer. Maybe he doesn’t answer the way I pray. When I pray for the sick, God clearly told me, one time when Karen’s uncle was sick with cancer- Godly man, never sick, got cancer, he ended up dying- and I was, I said, “God, how could that happen?” Again, God speaks to me, and he says, “Your job is to pray. My job is to do what I choose to do.” So now when I pray, I can pray in faith, release it to God, what He does. Many times he heals, sometimes he doesn’t, but He is God.
Abby: I obviously got the privilege of growing up with you as my grandpa and you, as long as I’ve known you, have been such a faith-filled person who can very boldly go to battle in prayer and pray for people, and that piece of “But if not…” I think is something that a lot of people struggle with. So could you speak to that a little bit? How do you, how do you pray for miracles and then sometimes it doesn’t appear like the miracle happened?
Richard: It’s after God spoke to me that it’s His job to answer the prayer where He chooses. When I pray, when I pray in faith, I release that to God. I pray for healing. I pray for people of all kinds of different problems, and marriages… I leave it with God and that has to happen because if you carry it yourself, what happens, doubt can enter you and doubt is not of God and neither is fear. And so we’ve been through some amazing things. My wife’s had cancer in her tongue several times. You pray, really, you’re helpless, you pray, you have faith and leave it with God. And then let the results be God’s. And most people have a hard time. You hear it all the time. “My God didn’t answer my prayer.” Well, maybe God did answer your prayer. He probably did, and He certainly did in one way or another. Maybe not the way you wanted, but that was best for you. But it’s key when we pray in faith that it’s not on me. People said, “Well, they didn’t get healed. You didn’t have enough faith.” I did not believe that. Because if that’s true, then it’s on me. And I am only the one to praise. I’m not the one that gives the answer. And I think many people walk away from God ‘cause they prayed, had faith. They thought they had all kinds of faith, and it didn’t happen, so they, they gave up. It’s not on us. Our job is to pray. To believe. Have faith. We all have different measures of faith, the Bible says. But to pray, believe, leave it to God… He’s a big God and He is a loving God and merciful God and He will answer the way He chooses, not the way I choose.
Abby: Yeah. And I’ve seen that, again, I am your granddaughter so I’ve gotten a front row seat to watching our family grow. And as a father, now grandfather, and even great-grandfather, how has that played into those roles?
Richard: When you have children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, of course you want the best for them. I have told most of my grandchildren, “What do you remember when I die about me?” And I want them to answer this: I want them to say, “He was a man of faith. He was a man of God.” And that is the legacy as a Christian that we need to leave. Not that I have a fabulous antique shop. I have a fabulous God. I have fabulous children. I have fabulous, fabulous grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And I pray every night, almost every night, rarely do I miss, I pray through every one of my children, every one of my grandchildren, and now great-grandchildren. I usually- once in a while I’m extremely tired- I try to cover them all, I said, “God, you know them all,” but most of the time I try to go through every one of them, sons, daughter, grandchildren. So yeah.
Abby: Yeah. I’ve been on the receiving end of some of those prayers…
Richard: Every night!
Abby: …but particularly during hard seasons in my life, been in tears with you guys, both Grandma and you, asking for, for prayer and help and wisdom, so I’ve gotten to watch and witness and experience what it feels like to have people believe for you, like, that kind of like you’re saying, when you can’t believe for yourself and you can’t hope for yourself and circumstances that didn’t go the way that I was praying for necessarily. So I’ve just been on such of the receiving end of the power and impact of that, of being people who love each other like that.
Richard: I think the description in the Bible fits it well, it says, “Don’t let your hands fall down in tiredness”, basically, I think it was Moses or somebody lifted his hands up?
Abby: Oh, to, to win the war.
Richard: Yeah, he was tired, he needed other people around him to support him, and we can look at the Bible in every circumstance that we go through. He needed help from another person. We can’t- I used to think when I got saved, if I was the only one in the whole world, I’d serve the Lord. I had a cocky attitude. I was on fire for God and I would have witnessed to the devil. And when I found out later as I got older that I do, the church has become so much more important to me, because we need each other, not just family, brothers and sisters in Christ, the lost… we need need each other. We were built- God created us- not to be alone in our help and in our strife and in our desire to love God and follow him.
Abby: Now you are a fairly passionate person, fairly opinionated…
Richard: Fairly. A little…
Abby: And you’re not afraid to argue.
Richard: Mm-hmm….
Abby: So, these are character traits that I was raised with. Good or bad, as they may be. I know you’re passionate for people, I know you’re passionate for loving on people, but at times there’s been tension, at times there’s been rubbing in ways that maybe don’t honor the Lord. Could you speak to them?
Richard: Well, when I first got save, as I told you, I was passionate about God and as I learned later in life that God had given me an unusual gift of boldness, I expected everybody to be as bold as me and they’re not, and that’s not bad. And my boldness, as you said; got me into some trouble or hurt feelings, or wounded people, nd still can, and thus, as we get older, we learn, we should learn, and we’re becoming sanctified daily. That means we’re not perfect. I’m not perfect, but because I am so opinionated, which I am, I’m very very bold in my store, sharing the Lord. Today I called a guy a liberal. And he was..
Abby: Helpful!
Richard: Yeah, but he was a great guy and we had a great conversation. And so learning how to be tactful, I’m not very tactful.
Abby: I wouldn’t say it’s your strength…
Richard: (Laughs) I wouldn’t say it’s my strength either, it still isn’t my strength. And I just shared this last week at church with a guy, I said, “I feel like I got big bullseyes in my back because I’m very bold.” I have a business. I’m very verbal. So it takes a lot of effort or energy to walk with the Lord and walk with people without causing dissension, and so, do- I don’t do that perfectly that’s for sure. And when I read the Bible, one of the words that jumps out at me- every time I underline it- it says, “Be gentle.” I said, I wrote right along the Word, “God help me.” I’m not a gentle person. I can be very gentle, but I think I’m much more gentle now than I was years go. And I still have to work on it. I have to apologize a lot of times. I have to ask for forgiveness. But if anybody wants to know how I feel, believe me, you don’t have to ask me twice.
Abby: Sometimes you don’t even have to ask.
Richard: That’s right. Most people will know what I stand for; if they don’t know, and I’ll tell them.
Abby: No, in all honesty, I think growing up it was something that I definitely would say I learned from you, was at least being strong in my convictions, and again, I think I had to learn how to do that gracefully and, and hopefully I’ve learned some of that and I’m still learning some of that and how to stand in love. So I’m not sure I always learned the way to stand, but I definitely learned to be a person who stands and to know your convictions and who you are. Growing up, and even now, you’re not confused about who you are.
Richard: Not at all.
Abby: And you’re very unapologetic about the mismatched camo and the white van that you drive and…
Richard: …I’m not embarrassed. One time a pastor said, “You drive that junk? That’s a pretty poor testimony.” I love this pastor. If he’s listening, you’ll know he is. I said, “Well it’s paid for. Doesn’t bother me a bit. I’m not out to impress many people.” Now in my vehicles for sure, so, or how I dress… I’m confident in who I am.
Abby: Even people who might be fairly confident people, I think, it’s really hard for people to just unapologetically be like, “Well, this is who I am, and I’m not trying to impress you.” So, so what would be your advice to be somebody who’s wanting to do that better?
Richard: Well, there’s a difference between being confident and being arrogant about what you stand for, how you dress, or what you drive. Pride is a bad thing. And I could have pride driving a wonderful vehicle or driving a piece of junk. So my advice, you know, we really need to be with God, and so that He can help us deal with people. People are starving spiritually. I meet them all the time. I meet very wealthy people that are starving, starving to hear that God loves them, and their own insecurity, I can tell pretty fast. I get to know a lot of my customers. I had one guy say, “Why am I telling you this?” I said, “Well, first of all, if I don’t know you, I’m a good listener.”
Abby: I must be following in your footsteps!
Richard: Yeah?
Abby: There are people that tell me that all the time.
Richard: Do you?
Abby: Yeah. They sit down all the time at the bar and they go, “I don’t know why I just said that.”
Richard: People need others to hear because they live in a fast-paced world where people… “How you doing?” - “Great!” You’re not doing great. Life right then sucks. And hey, when you, when you, somebody starts pouring their heart out, if you just listen, they need that, and gives you an opportunity to share with them the love of God. And I, I think back, and not- so many times I didn’t do it right. But when I got saved, I determined that I would witness to everybody that I worked with. And if you have time, I wanna tell you a quick story.
I was so verbal about my Christianity as a young Christian. I remember working in this reload, milk reload; they hired this guy. And this guy is amazing. I’m always witnessing to him. He says, “Eh, you don’t have any fun. You don’t smoke or drink…” or do all this stuff. And I just keep sharing the Lord with him. As I get to know him, the guy is absolutely brilliant. And I say, “You’re cocky,” he said, “Oh, well ask me a word in the dictionary.” Now this guy is working at the lowest grade level of work you could work at. Minimum wage. I asked, asked him any question a dictionary- this is hard to believe- he knew every word. So one day- I thought I was a real stud- hard words I never heard of, like “stick…” (laughs) No I used the dictionary. I had opened it up and get a word that “He will not know this…” and he did. Now no, these are not simple words. So not only was he brilliant, I thought I was a real- I played softball back then- I was, “That’s really good", I thought, little pride there, huh, I could throw a ball hard while we worked in a railroad or as a water tower is 110 feet up so we’re walk out in the yard and I said “I’ll show you how to throw a nice ball,” I threw that about halfway up there. I still remember, he took a snowball and he hit the water tower 110 feet up. To this day- I’m going to finish this story, it’s an extraordinary story- so I said, “Why are you working here?” He said, “I want to work at the lowest level I can because someday I’ll be famous and I’ll know what it’s like to work at a low-level job.” I said, “Well, that’s a cock-a-doodle-doo.” He leaves, I don’t see him for years. I get a letter in the mail a few years later to said, to Richard, who knows what Christmas is all about, and he underlines Christ. And he got to know the Lord. One day I’m watching the news, he’s a newscaster. He became famous., he did exactly, to this day, I’m not sure he wasn’t an angel. How could somebody be that brilliant and that physically strong? It’s an amazing story to me. And if I hadn’t saw it and lived there, I would not even believe the story.
So as I’m growing up as a Christian, I had incredible things happen to me that I don’t know if a lot of people have the experiences I’ve had in my life from one stage to another. God’s always showed me some amazing things, amazing people, and that was just one of the stories.
Abby: One of the things I think that I’ve loved and been so challenged by watching you is that although you’re very opinionated and although you’re very yourself, you actually do a fairly good job of welcoming people to the table. And so you guys, you know, you and Grandma frequently had people who were over for family holidays or welcomed in- I mean, a lot of people talk bout the Meltons like we’re super exclusive, but you guys actually just really opened up your hearts to love on people, and broken people, and I think that was something that always just really encouraged and challenged me, that nobody was too far gone for hope.
Richard: Well my wife has the most incredible gift of mercy that I’ve ever seen. The most incredible gift of giving. She loves it, like over the board giving. I actually, when we first got married, if I had come home and all of our furniture was gone, it wouldn’t have surprised me a bit. She would give everything away, God bless her. And so giving her a lot of credit, but my heart is, God will give me a great compassion for certain people. She has a great compassion for the down-and-outers. She always has. And we’ve been able to minister those kinds of people and our home is open anytime. We had a guy come to my house and he said, “There’s something about this place. Such peace.” Well, our home is God’s and it’s open to anybody. We minister, we try to minister to anybody and everybody. I had a hitchhiker ministry when I was traveling back and forth. One last thing about this guy that became a newscaster, I couldn’t get through to him, and so one day I walked into this milk reload and I said to him, I can’t even remember his first name, I think it was Jim, I said, “You know, I’ve been telling you about the Lord, how great He is, but what would you think if I was telling you about the Lord, how great He is, with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other?” He looked at me and said, “I wouldn’t think much of you at all.” So I think that really, I think that really spoke to him, and so yeah, anyway, I just wanted to get that in there. It was an important part.
Abby: I think the important part that is important about it… you’re saying, is your, what you’re saying in words needs to match the actions that you’re living.
Richard: It has to. And we’re not perfect, and I- when I got off my knees and when I got saved, all those things that were gone. I mean, not everybody has that kind of testimony, I thank God for it. I mean, God changed me so much. I was engaged to be married to the girl that I was gonna marry and she said, “You are not the same person you were before.” I said, “That’s right, I’m not.” And so I remember going to one of the men that- Godliest man I’ve ever known, he’s gone now- I asked him, “Hey, what’s going on, I love this person.” And he said something that’s important and I think it not only fits this situation but a lot of others. He said, “God doesn’t take anything away from you that He wasn’t going to give you something better.” And then of course I met my wife, who’s been by my side for 53 years, so…
Abby: When I was walking through divorce, you said that quote to me. And it still encourages me to this day because I haven’t seen how that story plays out for redemption yet.
Richard: Yeah. Well, in a way you have, you haven’t seen the completion of it. God, you had a desire in your heart to start your business, you did it, God’s blessed it, people are ministered to, every, all the time. SO the last part of that’s not finished, but much of it is.
Abby: Yeah, no, it’s in process.
Richard: Yeah, it’s in process. That’s what we have to look at, our whole life’s in process.
Abby: Yeah, it’s not finished until that final day of redemption.
Richard: Jesus said in Revelations to each of the churches, “To he who overcomes; to he who overcomes…” That’s my prayer, pretty much daily. I want to be an overcomer. Whatever coms my way, I want to be an overcomer.
Abby: Yep. How have you imparted that mindset and legacy into your kids and grandkids? Have you done that intentionally; have you done that accidentally?
Richard: Well it’s not accidentally. As I said, I try to speak to each one and say what I want you to remember me, not on what I have or don’t have, but what I’ve given you in the way that I walk with the Lord. Imperfectly, but you know I love God, you know, that I wanna make Him first in my life, and hopefully I’ve proved that to each one. And it’s got to be purposeful. It doesn’t happen- if we think it’s going to happen accidentally, it ain’t working. And is ain’t in the dictionary?
Abby: I’m not sure, call up Jim! (Both laugh) For people who are fathers or want to be fathers, are there ways or recommendations you have to- like tactical advice for how you impart legacy, how do you leave lessons into your kids and grandkids?
Richard: I love that question. Because my father was a workaholic and I believe that generation didn’t really know how to… they loved their children by the way that they provided for them. As I became a father, I wanted to impart to my kids discipline, Godly discipline, and I only once, and my wife will verify this, ever disciplined in anger, only once. I disciplined them, let them know what they did was wrong. I believe the Lord taught me a lot. I didn’t hear it from other people. I gave my children a chance to say, “I appeal. I don’t think your decision is right.” I would listen to that, nd sometimes their appeal won, most of the time it did not. If you love your children, discipline them and give them a line in the sand, and you follow through with your discipline with love and grace, I believe it does a lot for fatherhood. And also, I tried to be with my kids if they were involved in anything. I would, I was there as much as I could be- almost always- because they were important. They, they were- that is my legacy as my children, my grandchildren, my great-grandchildren… and so, did I do it perfectly? No, but I believe God taught me so much about raising children. Some people would say I was a strict father, but they could never deny that I was a loving father and gave them a chance to question why they were disciplined and then teach them. I think a lot of parents say “You can’t do this” and they never say why you can’t do it. If we explain to our children, “This is why I don’t want you to do it. This is what could happen, and this could be the result if you do this.” And so, I didn’t do it perfectly, but I have wonderful children. They all love Jesus.
Abby: That’s great.
Richard: And so, yeah, that would be, that was very important to me.
Abby: How did that transition as you moved into grandfather instead of just father?
Richard: (Laughs) Well there’s a big difference of having grandchildren verses your- your grandchildren… you get to love on them, baby them, and I’m still kind of strict, maybe. That’s a big difference. Raising kids and having grandchildren; you can have grandkids over and then they go home. That’s different. You love them. I think maybe we baby them a little too much, but not really, I don’t know. It’s, it’s different having grandchildren, great grandchildren, than it is your own children, you know, so yeah.
Abby: So I was raised with you as a grandpa, so I got to experience what having you as a grandpa was like. But one of those defining moments for me, and I’ve shared this before, is you were actually the one to help encourage me to start Redemption when I was at the shop crying, like, “I’m gonna be graduating, I don’t want to do anything in marketing, all I wanna do is this coffee shop…” You were the one who kind of was catalyst for me starting that. Could you talk to that a little bit? What was it like having your granddaughter pursue entrepreneurship?
Richard: Well, I remember the day clearly when you came crying and said, “Grandpa, I’ve worked for other coffee shops. It’s just, I want my own coffee shop.” And I said, “That’s great. I’m gonna give you five things to do. And when you get those five things done, you can come talk to me.” Which I thought would take you a year or more. Two weeks later, you walked into the store and said, “Grandpa, I did all five.” I was shocked. Now that, “This girl’s got some muscle”, I think I had faith that you could do this. So I said, “However I can help, I’ll help.” And I said, “The next thing you got to do is find a coffee shop or something that would facilitate your dream.” You said, “Okay, I’m after it.” You found this box in New York on an island. And I remember you driving all the way out there and calling me, it was raining, you- it was raining there when you were looking at it. She says, “Grandpa, I believe this is what I should buy.” I said, “Well, let’s do it.” So in that process, a lot of things didn’t go quite the way you had figured they would go, or me. But I think God worked over the wrinkles out for the best for you, you know. You’re an entrepreneur. I told you one of the things to do, you’re a woman, and I thought you could get grants. You’re just starting, probably could get a new business loan, blah blah blah. You know the story about all that, how it went down. And I remember clearly the day that box, black box, got- I call it black box- I got delivered to our store and there’s a big crane there and watching you so thrilled, and I was confident that you could make it happen and you’re… I’m very proud of you. You’ve done well. Yeah, so we have people come to the store from all over the country, have your coffee, and say it’s the best coffee that they’ve had. So that makes Grandpa proud.
Abby: …Didn’t quite get how someone would come spend five dollars on a coffee, but…
Richard: Yeah, Grandpa is little different. (Both laugh)
Abby: Has there been any parts of watching that journey where you’ve been nervous?
Richard: Oh, nervous not. You’re, it’s almost three years now, it’ll be three years next week, actually. Two weeks. What really… I would come to work on a Friday morning, and what made me nervous was you had these special drinks you called some weird name- flights, I don’t know why they’re flights, I don’t… they’re not flying away. I don’t know. There I thought, you could never sell one of them for that much money, and there every Friday I get there and there’s 30 cars parked- I can’t even park in my own business because everybody’s there having a flight. Beyond m, but watching you do that… I know antiques, you know coffee, so I’ve learned to trust you and what you’re doing there, although you come up with some wild ideas about other things on my property. Sometimes I believe you own it and I don’t because you’re very aggressive and you’re an entrepreneur and you make things happen! So, sometimes not the way I want them to happen, but you’ve done well honey and who couldn’t be proud of a daughter- granddaughter, or daughter or anybody that has that initiative. And it’s not always easy. There’s a time zone and it’s a lot of stress, it’s heartbreaking when things don’t go the way you want, but that’s part of life. Every day isn’t perfect, nor is it meant to be. If it was, we’d never create faith in us. So yeah.
Abby: We end Beyond the Bar with two questions- did you check to see that that was our name?
Richard: I can’t understand why it’s behind the bar. I think it’s always like, “Bar, that’s like an alcoholic place. This is coffee.”
Abby: I call that place where people sit “the bar”.
Richard: Yeah, I understand now. I’ve asked several people.
Abby: (Laughs) Other people had to explain it to you?
Richard: Yeah.
Abby: That’s funny, yep. And we’re bringing the conversations we have there beyond the bar.
Richard: Okay, alright now, I get it. Real clear to me.
Abby: Well we end every episode of Beyond the Bar with two questions. So they’re questions that I want to know. So number one: “If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?” and number two: “What’s one thing you want to be remembered for?”
Richard: The number one question was what I would what?
Abby: If you could go back and tell your younger self one thing, what would it be?
Richard: I’d say, “Go for it.”
Abby: Okay.
Richard: And I went for it. I did what I love to do. I love people. I love junk. Old junk. I did, God put me, I mean, “I’m gonna be a welder”, I never welded again. I had no dream that I would own my own business. I was like the dumbest guy in class (Abby laughs), you know, and that’s what’s good about God. He puts us in places we can’t dream of. So I really have no regrets. I have almost none. It’s amazing, most people could write a list of their regrets, I don’t have any. Is that bad?
Abby: Do you regret the bad parts? The parts where you messed up?
Richard: No! They’re training. Did Job regret being thrown over and swallowed by a whale? It was training.
Abby: That wasn’t Job.
Richard: I’m sorry, Jonah, I know better, I was a pastor. (Both laugh) Jonah, yeah. Paul was beaten and persecuted and whipped and thrown over and boat-wrecked. Did he regret it? I don’t think so. There’s a process of life that God trained them in. Sometimes they’re very hard, you know, but I don’t regret much.
Abby: So your advice for everybody is “Go for it.”
Richard: My- if you have a dream, go for your dream. Ah, reach high, don’t set your level too low ‘cause you’ll never reach what you could have. Personally, I’d say take God alone.
Abby: Ah. Yeah, well you saying “go for it” is the reason I’m doing my thing, so…
Richard: Hey, good.
Abby: So second question: what is one thing you want to be remembered for?
Richard: The one thing I want to be remembered for: that I was a man that walked with God, loved God and trusted God, was a man with God. Nothing without Him.
Abby: Pretty good thing.
Richard: Amen.
Abby: Thank you for being a guest on the podcast. Hopefully you had fun.
Richard: Oh, it was a riot.
Abby: This is your first podcasting experience, I think.
Richard: Oh, no, I was on radio. I used to do radio for Christian Radio Station, Shell Lake.
Abby: Really?
Richard: Yeah, yeah!
Abby: Oh, so you’re like totally a pro.
Richard: Oh, it’s nothing. (laughs)
Abby: Thanks for being on here. Glad this was nothing, super easy. It was a great conversation, it was an honor to sit down with you.
Richard: Honored to be your grandfather.
Abby: Alright, well if you hadn’t said “go for it” to me, Redemption wouldn’t exist,
Richard: Well, thank God it did.
Abby. Yeah. Alright, well thank you everybody for being here, it was so so good, I hope you were as blessed by this episode as I was and we will see you next time!
