Genuine in Our Approach: Grace and Grit with Sarah Hrudka Behlke
“It is my responsibility as a human being on this earth to leave things better in the wake of me.”
This episode is the fourth and last in our core value series, diving into what it looks like to be "Genuine in Our Approach". Abby will be interviewing Sarah Hrudka Behlke, a multi-passionate entrepreneur and mother of two.
She'll be giving us a glimpse into her world and sharing her tips on...
- balancing hustle culture and taking care of yourself
- showing up through grief and trauma
- being okay with taking up space
- embracing multiple labels and passions
Follow Sarah on Instagram:
@_linyage_
@velvet_raptor
@thebrandedvault
“You can be both. You can be bold and audacious and scrappy and for people and kind… and have boundaries.”
About Sarah
Sarah Hrudka Behlke is a female entrepreneur, wife, mother, sister, and daughter. She's passionate about creating space for people, pouring into her businesses, and being a catalyst for positivity and change. She's a photographer, the co-owner of bridal company linyage and Velvet Raptor paper goods. She also runs her own Digital Resource Platform for entrepreneurs @thebrandedvault.
Read the Podcast
Intro: Welcome to Beyond the Bar, the podcast where coffee and conversation are a catalyst for growth. If you’ve been searching for that coffee-with-a-friend experience that leaves you feeling seen, met, and encouraged, you’ve come to the right place. So grab your cup, listen up, and together we’re going Beyond the Bar.
Abby: Hey friends, welcome back to Beyond the Bar, I’m your host Abby. Today’s episode is our fourth and final in our Core Value mini-series. So today’s core value that we’re gonna be diving into is, “Genuine in Our Approach: We respond in grace and grit.” Today’s episode is gonna be really exciting. My guest is somebody who is kind of like my childhood dream… looked up to her my entire life, so this is a super big honor to have her on the show. She’s doing some really amazing things in the entrepreneurship space specifically, so I’m excited to div into that, but when it came to thinking about, “Who do we have on for ‘Genuine in Our Approach: We respond in grace and grit’”, I knew immediately, I know I’ve said that with all of our guests thus far but this one I genuinely knew immediately who I wanted to have on. When you look up the word “genuine”, it means, “Truly what something is said to be, authentic, of a person, a motion, or action, sincere…” If that doesn’t describe Sarah Hrudka Behlke, I don’t know what does. So I’m excited to introduce her today: she’s a wife, a mother, a multi-passionate serial entrepreneur, I get to call her friend and relative. So here she is, Sarah.
Sarah: Well, I’m already crying, so we’re off to a great start. Oh, thank you so, so much. I don’t feel worthy of that introduction. That is incredibly kind, incredibly kind. I am just… I’m so proud of you and so proud and so honored to be a part of this. I think what you’re creating is, just as I’ve told you, I mean, from inception to now, was like four seconds. And to see the way that you’ve executed this is truly like bonkers. So I am truly, truly, truly so honored to be here.
Abby: Thank you. It was, I remember like vividly when I was like, “Okay, I’m gonna shoot my shot. I’m gonna send her a voice memo.” So I was on a walk, and I’m voice messaging, like, “Hey, so I’m doing this thing and it’s gonna happen super fast and I really really want you to be one of my first guests.” And your like voice memo back, I remember just like being in tears listening to you say yes. And you actually said that this was something that you had ironically put on kind of like a dream board.
Sarah: it was on my, it’s been on my vision board. And I don’t, which is hilarious ‘cause I- making like- talking about myself makes me itch and I like want to throw up a little bit. However, I feel so drawn to like, I truly believe that my purpose in life is to help others feel seen, feel heard, like that is the ultimate, ultimate way I want to start in my days. And I think that can’t always be conveyed in words written through social media, through the ways in which we communicate, and that’s why I resonate with podcasts so much because I’m in the car by myself a lot, or I’m in my studio late and by myself, and podcasts are like… they feel comforting. They always have. And I oftentimes won’t even follow a specific one, but I’ll just like, love a brand, love a thing, find the CEO, you know, in the, and type in who the founder is and find an interview with them. So I had it on my pipe dreams because I just wanted to be of, you know, some inspiration, I think, and just maybe give somebody else some insight and shorten their learning curve and make them feel a little more seen. So, I cannot imagine a better way to crack into this other than with you, because I also am incredibly mindful of like that energy and like where, you know, I’m talking about these things, and this is, it was like a no-brainer, and truly like, so honored again.
Abby: Thank you.
Sarah: Cannot reiterate that enough.
Abby: Thank you, I’m glad it took a mutual honor.
Sarah: Yes.
Abby: Could you start by just sharing a little bit about your background, who you are, what you do?
Sarah: You know, I always joke that like, people are like, “What’s your elevator pitch?” and I’m like, “How many floors are we on this elevator because I need a little more time?” You know, like bullet points on paper, I’m a Virgo, I’m a type 2 Enneagram, I am a textbook empath, extroverted introvert, all of those things. But those are, you know, people roll their eyes at those things, but they feed into my other titles, which are mother, wife, multi-passionate entrepreneur, photographer, writer, content creator, course creator. And as you so beautifully reminded me recently, I’m a multi-hyphenate, and I think, you know, I’m 36 years old and I think it literally took me that many years to grasp that because I am so much more, I’m so multifaced- I believe we all are. We’re complex humans, we are not linear, we’re not, you know, segmented like that. But I think I’ve always just felt different, whether it’s having a neurodivergent brain or whether it’s having multiple passions my whole life, I’ve always been told, you know, “Pick a lane, pick a lane…”, and that is just not who I am. Thank goodness I had the family that I did who really fostered that. I blame them for letting me have five jobs at a time, try every sport, even like clear back to growing up like our mutual relatives… my nickname is “Cyclone” because I would come in the room and then I would be a teacher and I’d leave in a flurry and cause a mess and come back and be like, “I’m a veterinarian now.” And that is so on-brand. And uh, in elementary school I even wrote a report about, um, someone said like, you know, “What is your, who is your idol?” And I think I said something like Jane Goodall, Joni Mitchell, and Meryl Streep. (Laughs) And I think like that really is all you need to know about me. Like that explains everything.
Um, so yes, that is a long-winded way of saying who I am, but I think all of those components, there’s no title that’s of more importance to me than another. They all feed into one another. So co-owner of linyage, co-owner of Velvet Raptor, um, photographer, writer, but all of that are, those are titles that, you know, weave into who I am as a mom and who I am as a wife and as a friend and a sister and all of the things. How’s that for an intro?
Abby: I love it. You’re going through like who you are and I said “Oh, that’s also me.”
Sarah: That’s why, that is why we, that’s why we just have always instantly connected because I think, I just get, I get people like that when they’re like, yeah, I like, “I do all these things.” And I think also as you get older you feel more confident owning those things. And I used to definitely downplay because I didn’t want to sound so scattered.
Abby: Yeah.
Sarah: Um, but yeah, I say those things proudly and with so much heart because I’m choosing all of them.
Abby: Yeah.
Sarah: That’s the difference.
Abby: And I think in a world full of like, like, Instagram bios, where you’re trying to like describe yourself-
Sarah: “Not enough room for characters”, yeah, yeah.
Abby: …and you’re like, “Well what three things am I supposed to pick?” Like the world’s constantly trying to shove you into a lane.
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: Like you know, and people say at all times, “What is your elevator pitch” and all this stuff there? Like, “Who are you, and tell me in 30 seconds.”
Sarah: Mm-hmm, right.
Abby: But so you’re looking, that’s just difficult when you are kind of more how both of us are wired where you’re like, again, “How much time do you have?” because actually a lot of things but I too am particularly attracted to people who embrace that and run in it boldly. You’ve done this, I think, as long as I’ve known you, whether you feel like you have or now, so I got to grow up watching you be her. And going like, “Oh man, I want to be like that. Like if I could be a quarter, a quarter, an eighth of as cool and as awesome and as passionately running after my goals and dreams as Sarah is, I would have like, made it. So this is just that fun.
Sarah: Well again, I’m… incredibly too kind. I’m laughing ‘cause I have a shirt to change into for my pit stains… like, I literally did my mascara outside in the car, you know, but all of those are just like surface level things. I think I, that’s just who I am because I don’t know any other way to be. I grew up around multi-passionate people. Um, and I myself all, I look back at all of my mentors, all the people that have taken a chance on me, whether it was an internship or literally just letting me come and watch them work- in a multitude of jobs. They have all been that and I just, the older I get, the more comfortable I sit in that, I want to give other people permission to do that, not by me validating them because they don’t need that, but just by example, which again, is why I think podcasts are so important. Because it allows a conversation, to peel back more layers to realize, like, “Okay, how did these people that I admire get to where they’re going?”, “What are they struggling with?”, “Wow, I see myself in that” you know, so….
Abby: This is exactly what I mean and wanted to say.
Sarah: Oh gosh, okay.
Abby: So if you’re ready to unpack it all with me…
Sarah: I am always ready to unpack.
Abby: How did you start, I mean, obviously you said you remember like a young age, multi-passionate, a flurry of Sarah in all she did. But how did you actually get on that kind of entrepreneurial trend?
Sarah: Yeah, well if I, you know, someone asked me this recently and I was like, really trying to go back, because immediately I think to like when I left my first college and was like, “I’m going to be a photographer.” I think that’s what I, you know, but it really like goes clear back to like, I, um, your grandma, Jane, my aunt, gave me all of her stamps to emboss and I would take cardstock and emboss them and use the hairdryer and do the embossing powder and put them in ziplocks and sell them to my neighbors.
Abby: I love that…
Sarah: Yeah. And then I would use that money to go buy Vanity Fair and then use what was left to get put in my Jane Goodall institute membership. So I’m telling you (laughs), when I tell you who my idols were, this is all full circle, like, and I would get the Vanity Fairs ‘cause then I would go through and circle the photographer’s names. This is pre-printed, pre-interest, pre-internet. And I would just like, you know, make my own visual Pinterest board and stick it on my wall.
Abby: Seriously, you were my icon.
Sarah: No, no. But I mean, that’s what I would do. That’s what I would do. And so it’s just funny when I look back I’m like, and now I have a stationary business. Like chills. Like I could have never, it’s all synchronicity. So how I got started is, I think just that, like I’ve had so many jobs… I’ve been working since I was 12, whether it was a nanny or at a flower shop, or you know, I’ve literally done it all. So I’ve always had an innate hustle I think in me and out of necessity and just inherent drive. But then I went to college in Winona for a year and a half and originally went for child psychology ‘cause I thought, you know, I’m… I love people, especially love kids. I’ve always understood kids. Um, quickly realized that I don’t have that chip that my, my dad did who was a guidance counselor to separate, um, I think, I’m just that slippery slope enough of an empath where I can’t turn it off nor did school really, um, I didn’t foresee myself going on to get my doctorate, not because I didn’t love school, but because I didn’t, it has to really be something and I’m like a hundred percent. Otherwise I’m checked out. So quickly realized that when I was floundering on academic probation, um, and moved home and as my parents were so gracious and said, you know, '“Move home, figure it out, as long as you’re working, like we’ll figure it out”, also, you’re 20, so like everything’s, you have to have it figured out. Like what? I just got, I was just legal to vote like two years ago. I should give me a minute, you know? So when I moved home, I was a nanny for a family. And there is cousins, so there, I think, seven, seven of them. Yeah. And so I had all of them, and I was, I call that the “Sound of Music” summer, because we were really like the Von Trapp family and we- kind of like our main hub was at one house and they lived on a hill and I would wear the sun dress and we would like, run through the field.
But what I wanted to do with this time was, I had borrowed my dad's digital camera and I would document our days and then I knew when my time was up, I wanted to give a big framed thing of each kid to the parents and I just remember doing that and just being like, “This feels so right.” This just, like, for lack of a word, clicks, you know, no pun intended. But it just, I’ve always, and I think, my dad was an artist on the side, you know? He’s a guidance counselor, teacher, and my brother is the same way, always had art on the side. So everyone’s always been like doing this art thing on the side, and I didn’t realize it could be like a full-fledged career. I just thought it was a means to get by. So I didn’t quite go the route of that yet. So I’d have all these jobs and in every job I did, whether I was, you know, I helped open the Lu Lu Lemon store at the Mall of America. I was marketing and outreach for our eating disorder clinic. I helped manage and do marketing for pre and post-natal yoga center for many years. And, but in every one of these jobs, while it sounds scattered, they’re all related. And I kept finding myself creating the creative role that didn’t exist within that company, but knowing that they needed it, or just like, this is also again, when like Facebook was just coming on to the scene. So I was like, “Oh, we should have a Facebook page for this business”, and then running that, or taking the photos of new product, or, you know, all of the things. And in that time, I also got my yoga certification and I had done maybe four classes in my life. And don’t, to this day, don’t know where that like need… went to RCU to get out alone to pay for this yoga training. Like, I knew it was it. And at the end of the training, a woman came in named Sarah Longacre, who was one of my dearest friends and mentors. Yeah, she does a million things, yeah. So she was my doula for my children. I mean, she’s, yeah. So she came and spoke to us, she’s like, “Hi, I opened this little, you know, yoga studio called Bluma.” And I just remember going downstairs in St. Paul outside of Bread & Chocolate and calling my mom and balling nd saying, “I just met someone that I know I’m going to know the rest of my life. I think she’s why I took the yoga training, and I don’t really know what that means.” Because the yoga training wasn’t, I was like, I can’t, I don’t want to queue another Chaturanga. Like this isn’t, I know I want to do this, but I didn’t know what. And so prenatal was for sure clicked. That was it, which is hilarious because I was not even close to in my child-bearing times, but that didn’t matter. And this little yoga studio that she opened up went on to become much, much bigger, and I ended up kind of wearing every single hat there.
And again, photography was huge, so shooting all of the events, shooting the headshots, shooting the manuals. And in teaching there, I feel like that really fanned the photography flame. Because here I’m, I taught there and I also taught at a mental health clinic. So everyone there is, both situations, you’re dealing with women that are nine months pregnant or people that are, you know, deeply ill and all of which the common thread is, “We feel foreign in our bodies.” And so asking people standing in front of a group individuals to move their body, which already feels uncomfortable or weird or different, or, you know, strange to live in and then be vulnerable and move through those things… is exactly the same as holding a camera in front of someone’s face and asking them to show up as themselves. And I didn’t, I knew that they played into each other, but it, it really wasn’t until later that I realized like, people talk about that butterfly effect. Like had I not done the yoga training and had I not gone to Bluma, had I now, and like, that Bluma opened up a, I mean, plethora of connections. And so it’s just wild to think about, like yes. I started- definitely nannying was the catalyst, I called them my little muses because they really, I just, and then when I went on to nanny for another family, who’s cabin I got married at down the road- dear, dear people- I also photographed, you know, our time together. So that was kind of my way of like gifting and documenting, I guess. But then when I started to do it for these other businesses, realizing it could be a viable career, that’s when it slowly took off.
And then when I was about 28, I got an opportunity, a crazy opportunity to be a long-term maternity leave substitute photography teacher at a high school in St. Paul from one of my Bluma yoga students. And she just said, “I don’t even know if you have your teaching career or a teaching degree, um, but I am going on a six month leave and I’ve seen the way you teach, and I just, something in me feels like I need to ask you nd I need to push for you versus somebody else, ‘cause I care too much about these students.” Little did she know that like, that teaching is like that. And the end of the day is like, who I think I think is at my core. So I did that and it was by far, no way, one of the most rewarding experiences I’ve ever had and will ever have, like it was right before I got married, it was just this really, really special tender time. And those students taught me- I still talk to many, many, many of them, all of whom are now my age now that I was when I started. It was so wild. But that was kind of the catalyst.
So I knew that was done in June when school was out, and I said, “If I don’t do this thing full time…” like, just seriously, “Go for it, when else am I going to do this? It’s only going to get harder. I’m only going to have more responsibilities and demands.” And so that was kind of my jumping half-point, and that was 20… what was that? 2015 full time photography.
Abby: Mm-hmm, and you did a couple of like, majorly cool projects.
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: Could you touch on this a couple of…
Sarah: Are you thinking of any in particular? I’m like, my brain just goes blank…
Abby: The one you did specifically that I was like, “Oh my goodness”, was one you did around the North…
Sarah: Okay, North Minneapolis. Yeah, I, so that was when we lived in North Minneapolis and that is kind of notoriously known as a, a tougher area. Um, and it’s funny because again, we rented the house because of a former teacher that I worked with at Bluma. So again, I had a, you know, it’s just all full circle. And so she had this house available for us to rent and it was totally where we were supposed to be. Um, but many, anyone you’d talk to, “Where do you live?” And you say that and they’d kind of wince or go, ooh, you know. It had this reputation, um, as all the neighborhoods go through ebbs and flows, all cities go through ebbs and flows. It just takes, you know, people, businesses, things to evolve. And I just, I couldn’t subscribe to like the narrative around it. And I so boldly perhaps, perhaps naively, just made a challenge for myself and said, “I’m gonna take a photograph every day for 30 days and share their stories”, like these complete strangers. And this was like right around when “Humans of New York” was launching, like before all of these Instagram accounts which people do so beautifully. I just felt like, I don’t really know if I’m doing it for myself or for anybody, but I just felt like, I’m doing it for somebody else. I started sharing it on my, um, photography Facebook page and it kind of, um, caught wind from there, and the news did a cover of… and I just, um, I was so happy to shed some light and to hear, honestly, above all, to hear people’s stories- that goes back to like my love of wanting to be a psychologist and then realizing, “Oh, I can do that through my camera”, I can do that, you know, and all these jobs, again what I’m doing: I’m holding space for people to show up as themselves. And then also kind of freeze-frame it while I’m doing it. Um, and these stories were, these people were incredible, um, and you know, it’s pretty bold to walk up looking like me to a stranger with a camera like, “Hi can I take your picture? …and then talk to me about your life.” But honestly, I was met with so, I think people were grateful to be seen. And I was not to berate them. Many of whom I sat with and talked to on the corner of the sidewalk for like half an hour, to no surprise to anyone. Um, and some were just like, it was quick, it was beautiful, I was like, “Great.” You got, you know, we said what we, and there was no pressure, you know, um, but I was never really, I was never like scoffed at. I’m shocked to this day at how it transpired, but not at the same time, because again, humans just want to be seen and heard and uh, have a space held for them without judgement. And, you know, we talked a lot before I would even take their photo. So yeah, thanks for reminding me of that time. That was a million years ago, but also a pretty like pivotal point in my career, you know?
Abby: Yeah, it was a really cool thing I thought.
Sarah: Yeah, it was really, it was really, I just remember when the news came and I was like, “Why?” But I was like, “Oh, this isn’t about you, Sarah”, like, “Let’s maybe check your egos, this isn’t about like what you’ve done. This is bout the whole point of this, which is shedding light on an area that needs a little more light.” Let them be on the news for something that is not negative. Let there be not-negative news for once. You know, like I was just, I was happy to take one for the team if that’s what it, if that was the conduit, you know, to get there. It was never the point, but I was happy to hear that it was, you know, put in a positive light.
Abby: One thing I love about that project that you do is you were capturing, like you said, random people on the streets alone, but it came out of, and you mentioned this earlier, it came out of this gritty part that is Sarah. Where you’re seriously one of the most grace-filled, creating space, welcoming people as they are a person. But there’s this, like, innate… grit in you where you see something and you’re like, “I’m gonna do something about that.” (Laughing) It’s your resilience, it’s nice. And so that project is one of those things where I remember hearing about it and seeing about it and being like, “Oh, that is so cool.” And like you responded to something where most people walking around the city were like, “Oh, that’s where you live…” And like, you know, you know, scoffed at it, but they weren’t doing anything to change it. They weren’t doing anything to change the environment.
Sarah: Right, exactly.
Abby: Yeah, and you looked at that, and you were like, “Well what do I have? I have a camera.”
Sarah: It’s a tool. Yeah, I see it as a tool. I don’t see it, I think that’s why it took me so long, honestly, to say I’m a photographer, like years, years, I would say, “I take photos”, or “I do photography”, I would never like own “I am a photographer”, because I would get so stuck in like the technicality stuff that I was still learning. But that can be taught. And that’s what I tell people all the time, the inherent need, need, it’s not even a want, like me, I love that you said that, that you see that in me, because I do feel like I m both and I feel like I am such an advocate for people, and I grew- and that is like how I grew up though too, but like both my parents were, I mean, are like so, and my brother, it just wasn’t an option to not be. But I think there’s that like, like you said, people see that and they feel stuck and don’t do anything. And I have always from my earliest memory had like, I don’t, it is my responsibility as a human being on this earth to leave things better in the wake of me, which can be a blessing and a curse. Um, because it has also forced me into situations where I feel like I was self-sacrificing a little bit. Um, but this camera, it just, it allowed me, it has allowed me and afforded me opportunities to help. I just, I truly see it as like the vehicle to the end goal, which is holding space, creating an experience, giving people, you know, giving people memories. The amount of people that have told me that they have used photos from their wedding for the photo at so-and-so’s funeral or that they blow up and it’s above the fireplace. Again, it’s not about me at all. It’s about the fact that I am able to use this vehicle to hopefully, again, make people feel better because that’s what they remember. And then this is byproduct of it, which is a photo, a tangible thing that goes in that order, you know, for me. And that’s why it took me so long to get there: because I didn’t realize that could exist. I just saw people taking really incredible shots and feeling like I need to get to that point, and, again, in true fashion of me, like taking 700 different routes to get there with a flat tire, and I, I’m still getting there, you know, like, but it’s, I think that is, um, that’s why it’s not a linear story for how I got there.
Like when did it start? It’s always been there. It’s just taken on many different iterations. And I think the 30 North project was kind of the thing that really, the light switched on of like, “Oh, this is thing that I can do and make it a viable career.” Even more than like the weddings and the family portraits, which I also love, but it was like that like gave me a little more… I found a voice I didn’t realize I had in there that was allowed to be heard, you know.
Abby: That point, that project, you said it kind of started to click. Where did you go entrepreneurially from there? Because that’s definitely not where you stayed…
Sarah: No, no, of course not. Why would we stay in one place for more than two seconds? So at the same time I was also building “linyage”, which is a custom wedding dress design house built with one of my very best friends since fifth grade. And she went to- Lindsay- she went to New York after college to FIT. And I very much thought she was my New York friend. I was like, she’s my East Coast friend that I won’t see unless I go and visit because she has always been wildly talented, skilled beyond her years. And so I thought, “This is much too small for her here.” She came home, and I just remember her calling me and sketching like in her parents’ backyard and being like, “I can finally hear myself think”, and she had a final show there and the Polaroid is still on her fridge, and it was of her final piece that she hired a Wilhelmina model for and someone to photograph it. And someone said, “I really love your wedding line.” And she was appalled, you know, this is 15 years ago. So you think of like stiff, stiff, polyester, terrible, like different, she was like, “This is not me.” And then she quickly realized like, this can, this is art, my art can be in many forms.
And so she came over, it was in the fall. I think this was 2014, 2015, it was around the same time as all of this. And we were making vision boards with our other friend, Sarah, one of our best friends, and we were sitting on the floor, eating waffles, cutting up vision boards, and realized, “Okay, we have something here.” Like, you don’t want to go back to New York because you’re realizing this is not for you. I have these skillsets in marketing, photography, graphic design… like, could we somehow bring them together? And that was literally the day that linyage, like the name linyage was born. Like, I remember when we thought of it. I threw my scissors down, it was like a whole- linyage playing on Lindsay’s name, linyage because we’re creating from vintage lace- everything is made out of vintage lace, our process is slow, it is steady, it is intentional… It’s very different from anything we had seen. And so creating a lineage from people’s lineage for future lineage really is where it all began.
And so we got ourselves a little studio and it’s crazy because there’s so many dresses from the beginning that will probably never see the light of day because we took on anything that came our way, like colored dresses, sequins… Or people would just come to us and say, “Here, I want you to make my wedding dress. Here is a picture of a beautiful sequined ball gown.” These things, it’s just hilarious. ‘Cause, but at that time, when you’re starting a business, it’s so not us, but when you’re starting a business, I just, I did that, I mean I took on so many shoots for free for linyage, we were just like saying yes to everything so that has evolved a million times over. Also during that time, I was an intern for many years for another mentor of mine named Adrian who was a photographer who launched a business called Velvet Raptor and she created these beautiful velvet photo albums because she was a fine art film photographer and couldn’t find anything that she really fit her aesthetically. So I’m doing all of these in tandem, which is hilarious in hindsight. And fast forward to 2017-ish, you know, she’s in a different season of her life. She had built this beautiful business over well over a decade and said “I just, I have two kids, I’m,” you know, “We’re moving”, like, “I, I, this is, I’m holding the back. I wish you and Lindsay would buy it.” And I was like, “Don’t even tease me because we will find a way.” And we have always wanted a paper goods line, going back to my previous story, I have always been drawn to stationary. It just, it already made sense. All of our labels in the linyage dresses were velvet. So it just was this crazy synchronicity and so over five years ago, we ended up acquiring the business as like a sister company. So, but yeah, in that time, a lot of things, I mean, we had a global pandemic, I’ve had two babies… so a lot of things have happened, but I would say, especially in the last like four years since COVID, linyage really… it was a blessing to us in the sense that we pivoted our entire business, we were in only showrooms, and it totally evolved into working directly with brides. And these brides were saying, “Okay, love isn’t canceled, I’m going to the mountains!” And so, we make these dresses completely accustomed to the brides. And so that, so many things, but all while doing photography, right? So I’m still doing this because this is now my full-time career, trying to build these other two businesses in which we’re not paying ourselves. So you still have to work, but they all make sense and they all kind of fed into one another. So yeah, that is the Cliff Notes version of the last 10 years.
Abby: And I definitely want to get into the entrepreneur, gritty part of some of that, but at the same time, before we dive into that, your personal life was massively changing. Because you got married in that time…
Sarah: I got married in that time, my, prior to that, my parents went through a divorce, which I would say is probably one of the top five, mostly, like, just pivotal hardest things I’ve ever been through because I was blind sighted. Um, so yeah, like starting to shoot weddings while your entire view of what you thought love is is crumbling, um, was interesting, you know, like you’re watching people say vows and you’re just like, “This is a lie.” Not really, but you’re just like, I, I… I also had just gone through a really, really, really tough breakup. Um, everything was just kind of at this like, weird turning point. Also during this time got diagnosed with chronic Lyme disease after years of honestly thinking I was maybe a little crazy, like not knowing what was wrong with me, um, going from doctor to doctor and no health insurance, you know, so doing a million shoots to afford the supplements only to like, you know, work harder to help heal me, however, working harder was making me sicker. So it’s just like this hamster wheel of what anyone who is an entrepreneur can understand. Because guess what, life still happens, you don’t have anyone to delegate these things to. Even though, yes, would it have been easier to have a regular sturdy full time job? Absolutely. But I had done that and I quickly learned that it wasn’t, that wasn’t for me, I would rather work 80 hours for myself than 40 hours for someone else. But with that meant like, there aren’t… there weren’t a lot of days off.
And so, yeah, got married during that time, going through just these massive life shifts, all, all while trying to grow these businesses. And I think for me, adversity has always fueled me. You can definitely go one of two ways and I don’t blame anyone for any direction that they go. It is just, I’ve always had this innate sense of like, like you said, that grit. I need to prove why I’m here, sometimes to my own detriment, because I’m also a very very strong now-recovering people pleaser. And I think, you know, one of my favorite quotes is “Don’t light yourself on fire to make other people feel warm.” It like, it gives me a lump in my throat. Um, and I think there’s just that balance, because I want to do so well at all of the things, I also want to give myself time to heal. But when you are growing and evolving as a human, your businesses will as well, which is beautiful. Um, some people go into entrepreneurship and it’s very transactional and it’s very like, “I’m starting this to invest, to sell, to do it…” and that’s okay. The majority of us are heart first, which is such a beautiful thing. And there’s so much longevity in that because why else would you choose to do this? It’s because you have to, because you can’t not. But it is so hard when life is also happening in the background, and I’ve also never been someone to like… um… be surface-y, like you’re gonna get all of me and there’s a time and a place- I’m not gonna air out my trauma at a wedding, right, like I know, I can read the room, but it’s hard. It’s hard as you know. Well like it is just, but I think it is- the more I’ve done it, the more it’s built my resilience, even down to like, when I’m giving birth, I’m like, hardest thing I’ve ever done. Also have done hard things. We have been in a version of this before. It builds you, it builds a skin that is unparalleled, I think to most anything else. And, you know, if you would have told me when I was 25 and heartbroken and honestly bedridden with severe joint pain and autoimmune flare-ups and like having to like use any ounce of energy I had to get to this shoot to pay for my rent, like that we would be on the other side, I would have never. But there’s just something in you that is… it’s not even like palpable. It’s just an inner knowing that like, you have to because it will be worth it.
Abby: Yeah, yeah.
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: I think one of the things that is so exciting…
Sarah: Absolutely
Abby: And actually you’ve gone through hard things recently, too.
Sarah: Mm-hmm, yeah, right.
Abby: And trauma on the small side, too, there. But I wanna bring that up ‘cause I think it’s so easy for people to hear the hustle stories and be like, “Oh, cool, so if I just work hard enough…” and it’s, yeah, work hard and that’s important, but you’ve done the messy journey of learning how to un-intertwine a little bit your personal and your professional life, and how to set some boundaries if you’re walking through that even now, so that your health doesn’t fall apart, so that you can show up as a mom, so that you can process personal trauma and heartbreak.
Sarah: For sure.
Abby: And it’s not, you know, so your body doesn’t shut down. I mean, like there’s so many things
Sarah: Oh, for sure. And I think my generation especially is very much like, we were told like, if you are not beating yourself to a pulp and grinding and hustling… like I am direct byproduct of the hustle culture. And now we’re all undoing. Like, I just had this discussion with my brother, too, we were just like, like, we were told like, harder is better, more is more is more, and it gets to a point where you’re like, I’m on a hamster, I’m like just getting off this hamster wheel truthfully. And I think having a business partner has been incredible because we work at it like a marriage. And we are so open about like, okay, where are you at? What is your health today? What is your personal life? Like, we talk relationships, health, money, like we go all of it. And like, time out, not work, where are you at? Like, let’s gauge where you’re at. What is your capacity today? Are you at 8 or 10? You know, like, I think that is so important and it has quite honestly been the only reason we can like stay afloat and grow. And I think it’s also why I’m so deeply, deeply passionate about helping other entrepreneurs and other small business owners, especially women, because I don’t, yes, you have, you could do, you have to show up, you know, you’re in, I’m in a season right now of like what I call “the growing pins hidey hole”, where I’m just like, head down in a different level of like, okay, what does scaling look like? I have two kids. What do I want the next five years? Whereas before I was like, be where your feet are, blinders on, do what I need to do today, which is perfectly fine for that time. But I’m in a different season of like longevity. What would 10 year old, 10 years from now Sarah appreciate, you know, and so of just like deplete, deplete, deplete, I’ll figure it out later, because you end up borrowing from an empty bank. You know, like I have been living in the red. And my health has suffered for it. And I don’t regret it, because it’s gotten me to where I am, I’m just learning… I’m taking inventory of what could have been, what, what I could tell someone to not do, right? I don’t regret, I don’t go back, because there’s no point, that’s a waste of energy. But if I can help others shorten that learning curve and remind them that like, you showing up is enough, you don’t need to overcompensate to be of value… Like, that is what- if I could tell myself that, I would have saved my adrenal glands. I would have saved hours of sleep. Like I, I wrote an article about that a while ago, I remember, about overcompensating. Like I would, I don’t know that I’ve, I’ve ever shot a wedding where I didn’t stay another two hours without getting paid, ‘cause I thought like, that’s what you have to do in order to be exceptional. 110% or nothing. And I think, yeah, as it got me to a point of like growth for sure, but like at what, at what expense, right? And so I think when you’re starting a business, whether you’re a chiropractor, a photographer, a jewelry maker, like every, across the board, we are all experiencing these same feelings, and we are all going through things in the background. And I know for myself, I’m going to likely invest and spend my dollars in a company where I’m like business, women-owned, mothers, this woman is giving back 10% of her proceeds to cancer research, this, you know, like whatever it is. We are a generation now, we’re investing in people and in businesses, not just the product, right? So like, I just, I think, yeah, I just, the older I get, the less afraid I am to take messy action and to show up not knowing and figuring it out in front of people. And I think you are so good at that.
Abby: Well, I’ve been watching you.
Sarah: No, you are so good about like, “I have a dream. I’m going do implement it. I’m not going to like, dilly dally and let it fester. I’m going to do it while the iron’s hot.” And I think that’s such a beautiful skill set that is usually learned over years and years and years of wisdom. Um, so you should revel in that and feel proud of that. But that is, that is definitely where I’m trying to be. Um, and it’s funny how like, I can go five days with dry shampoo and really not care about how I showed up to the grocery store, but you better believe if like the PDF ‘m presenting isn’t perfect, like it’s going to sit on my computer for three weeks. I don’t know where that comes from, but it’s again, just goes back to like that “worthiness” factor. And how can we, how can we feel strong enough and confident enough like in ourselves and doing the work on the outside- like do the therapy, do the movement, do the… take the time to breathe, to sit still, to be with your thoughts, to pray, do whatever you have to do so you can show up. Because forever I worked, worked, worked to deserve rest and like what if it was the reverse? What if we took care of ourselves enough to like, do the work we want to do? You know?
Abby: I truly think that I learned some of those lessons faster, not because I was magical, but because I got to watch women like…
Sarah: …and I feel the same about the women before me. I really do. I feel like I am nothing without the women in my life and the mentors in my life. I mean, the amount of people that have taken me under their wing is bananas. When they really had no reason to. And, but you better believe I showed up. The fact that I now own a company that I would just take pages out of every other book to like prepare the album or like full boxes with the utmost joy and excitement… it’s just, you don’t know where these things are going to lead. And I never do anything with the goal of “What can I get out of this?” That’s never going to get you anywhere. You do it, you show up, because you have n inherent yearning and a hunger to learn without expectation. We give without expectation and the way that that manifests is beautiful and it’s never going to be right away. It’s sometimes 10 years down the road, you know, like, “Oh, if I wouldn’t have met this person, I wouldn’t have worked for this person…” and the mentors that I’ve had, it’s just been, it continues to pay back in spades in the ways that they have, yeah, they might have technically taught me how to use a camera or load the film or use the flash, but… watching these individuals navigate, all of whom were older than me when I was, you know, with them, like watching how they went through these things, even when I was teaching prenatal yoga, the amount that I learned about motherhood in the walls of that studio 12 years before I had my first kid- like that is, that is unmatched in my opinion. That’s why, like, school, absolutely, I am someone that just does better by learning in the mud. Throw me in the fire. Roll up my sleeves, I will work and we will figure it out.
Abby: You had mentioned just mentorship and learning from the women who have gone before and how that paved the way and kind of how you started building things because women just took chances on you and they invested and they loved on you and they gave you opportunities, they saw something in you that you maybe didn’t se in yourself nd they gave you the chance to run with it. Which I love, because that has impacted your story, it’s impacted mine, it’s what we’re trying to do here.
Sarah: Yeah, and you are.
Abby: Thanks.
Sarah: So beautifully.
Abby: Learning and growing from each other, sitting down at the table and just asking over cups of coffee, like, “Hey, how did, how’d you get there?”, “How’d you get here?”, “How can I get there?” But one of the moments that I know for you drastically changed your life and your story personally and professionally was just, what was it, there’ll be two years here…
Sarah: In August, yeah…
Abby: So it’s been a year and a half, yeah, when, she was my great aunt, um, their mom passed away, and actually it was a traumatic battle to them. Could we talk about that loss and come back even pre-loss, how that went?
Sarah: Mm-hmm, for sure, yeah. No, thank you for asking. Grief is so funny ‘cause people are afraid to bring them up. And what I’ve learned is like, please don’t ever stop talking about them because that keeps them around. So I always appreciate when people, and it also hits differently, it’s another layer for you because literally she’s your family. So it’s like a whole ‘nother thing. And she would love this so much. I keep thinking about how she would be like what she is. actually, I know she is because on the way here I was talking to her driving and asked for a sign, and literally like, as I’m- one of the signs, she has a few that I asked for and she’s delivered on all of them, and one of them is a bald eagle, and one followed me driving down to Elm Street and like all but hit my car. So she’s real jazzed about right now, um, and I know that for a fact.
Yeah, you know, it’s, it’s, my mom was my- it still feels weird to say past tense- um, she was my biggest fan, our, including my brother, um, like, lived, truly lived for and through us. And you know, growing up, it was, I was so grateful because she did not miss a soccer game, did not miss a recital. What did you want to sign up for? What did I want to be that week? Cool, I was in a lesson. But there was also many times where I just remember looking at here nd thinking, “I wish you were at a class”, “I wish you were with your girlfriends having coffee”, “I wish you were at somebody’s cabin doing vision boards.” And it really wasn’t until I was older until I got those experiences where I wished that for her, and I would feel almost like, “Just go, just do that.” And now when someone passes and you know, it was, she’s also my most complex relationship. And so when you lose someone, with her particularly any questions or you know things we all had, it all died with her and so I’m able to look at her as such a whole being now who I just think, didn’t have the same knowing that she could do those things too. And I think I look at her with so much more empathy. And it was really especially in the last six days, I, I, you know, slept in her bed, I gave her the morphine every hour… It was like, this is not going to be hospice, strangers, it needs to be, it needs to be us. It’s the very least I can do for her. And I just remember like, I’ve never, everyone I’ve ever lost has been really sudden. I’ve never watched someone actively go through death, like actively, in front row. And what a gift, man. Because I looked at her with each layer that she slipped, I saw more of the little girl inside of her.
And I just, I feel like she was again, such a believer in me, believed in Lindsay and I, like literally as if she was her own daughter before we believed in ourselves and I just, something in my as I looked at her, as like this vulnerable little girl, almost thinking, '“She, she believed in us because she wanted that for herself” and I just don’t think she ever… she showed that through motherhood. It maybe wasn’t through entrepreneurship or like, you know, getting after these big, audacious goals. It was driving us to do ours. And I can see that now. And it completely, it completely changed everything. It’s, it could, it completely changed how, not only how I live in the world nd exist in the world because grief isn’t a feeling, it’s, it’s a new way of being. It’s how you go about and how it folds into your every day. It’s not a fleeting feelings. And how it’s shown up for me in business. I mean, for one, I, you know, taking care of her, because I wanted to, not because she made me, but because I wanted to be at every appointment and do everything. And then, you know, run home and put my kids to bed, get them dinner, bless my husband, then leave, then go to the studio until, you know, 11, and then go to her to do the morphine and like, rinse and repeat, like I wouldn’t change it for anything. But I just, I, it beat me down to a new layer of rawness of, “This isn’t sustainable.”
And I remember the day that she died, and I was driving and I got the call from my sister-in-law because we knew that she wouldn’t go with my brother and I around. I kept waiting and waiting and I just knew she wouldn’t. And when Michelle called, I remember calling Lindsay, my business partner. I don’t honestly, don’t remember much, ‘cause I don’t even know how I was driving a vehicle ‘cause I was driving straight to her, but I remember telling Lindsay, like, “Here’s the things that need to get done at the studio because I’m gone”, and the fact that that was, I mean, that just goes to show you entrepreneurship. I’m not like, that is not a badge of honor. I don’t say that, like, proudly. I say that just like, “Okay, when the bus starts and stops with you, and life is still going on, where is that middle ground? And bless my business who, you know, I can’t even, I can’t even imagine doing that part without her. On the photography end, I’m having mounds of shoots pile up that I’ve had to cancel and which I’ve never had to cancel in my life. Thank goodness for clients that were so gracious. But again, that’s like, it just, it’s so, it’s so messy, and I just, I was so vulnerable.
And I remember being on a phone call with a planner like three days before who was talking to me about something that felt trivial at the time that was so big to them. But I’m like, “I’m literally about to go to a hospice appointment right now”, you know, and I just, there’s a fine line, but I think the more you are open with people, people do appreciate that. And I think for Lindsay and I, it’s really, she has had her own host of life things, it does. And so it’s forced us to really be more and more and more intentional, like “Where are you at?” “What’s your capacity?“ “How do we want to run our business so it doesn’t run us?” And I think we’ve really pivoted everything kind of because of that. Or not because of that, I shouldn’t say, but that really like kicked it into overdrive, whether that’s like hiring people that we can delegate to because we’ve never done that before. Also, you know, we are really leaning into bringing community because that’s kind of where linyage started, like, creating the long table, telling people, “There is actually always an open seat at our table”, and giving people the opportunity to sit across from someone that they may never otherwise have had the opportunity sit across from someone that they may never otherwise have had the opportunity to, and to make a connection… And for me, on a personal level, to take these experiences and to teach. I’ve always been an open book. I’ve always been like, heart on my sleeve, face, pant leg, everywhere. It’s there, you know. And so I think it’s only been amplified after losing my mom because she was that way. And I just feel like I can’t not live my truth because I would be doing her a disservice. And she’s worked for me, hard for us, to live our dreams, both my parents, that I cannot.
Abby: Yeah, yeah, she’s my great aunt. So I had the privilege of knowing her.
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: I vividly remember walking through divorce, or, just finding out I was goin to get a divorce. I had this business and going, “I just don’t know how to do this”, and I got a text message from her with my business card- I had a picture on it and some short message… she had gone through a divorce-
Sarah: Mm-hmm
Abby: -and some little message of, “This- it doesn’t define you. It’s not over. You’re strong. You’re capable. You’re doing amazing things.” Like… “You’re gonna… this isn’t the end of this.” And so just kind of championing me-
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: -being behind me, and for me, and cheering me on, pushing me forward, seeing me. So same thing; I think she did that beautifully well for people in life.
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: And I see that hurt from her carried on so much in you. And I’ve loved, you know, I think it was just this fall that I texted you and was like, “Sarah, I know you’re like the queen of busy, you have eight billion things going on. But I am like floundering in female entrepreneurship, like I’m so lonely. I’m so so lonely in this town where people don’t think like I do and I’m trying to grow and I’m trying to bring this into places and like I really need to talk to somebody who’s doing that- would you have coffee with me?” And like, you immediately were like “Yes, totally, anytime, no matter what I show up like, a thousand percent.” And it was exactly what you were talking about, of like gracefully letting me plop myself down at the table and go like, “Okay, it’s really hard and I don’t know what I’m doing and like I need to talk with somebody about this stuff.” And you just loved me so well every time we showed up to coffee and so cheer-leaded me on and had just insight and help and… anyways, I say all that to say, I think the direction you were going is more beautiful because of… the whole episode, I mean, everything we’ve talked about, but you’ve been through it and it’s not been through it in this glamorized Instagram-storyland of like, “I just hustled really hard and then like take my big break" and like, “boom, and you can do it too in 30 minutes.”
Sarah: Totally…
Abby: It’s not, it’s not any, it’s not how you show up anywhere. You have this heart for people that you’ve never lost that came from the beginning that’s like, “I’m going to be so passionately for you in the most genuine, raw, gritty way and I’m gonna give you not just like the seat at the table- I’m gonna give you the tools that I didn’t have” and you, you actually build those out now. Like you have tools for people.
Sarah: Thank you so much for saying that. And I think I’m also, I’m half laughing because I love that you say you plopped yourself at the table when in fact, I think I was the plop-ee and I was the one who probably cried more and was like “I don’t know what I’m doing either.” And I wanna go back to with my mom, something that was, that’s important to point out is she was so for- I love that she sent you that- and she was so for people. I don’t know that she was as for herself as much as she was for people, which is another driving force for me to learn how to love myself well, to feel so solid and so enough and to feel okay with taking up space so that I can lead by example.
Abby: Yeah. Well, and just as-
Sarah: Yeah
Abby: -in one of those plop down, comfort conversations, we were both kind of sharing dreams, both kind of sharing visions, and you kind of started to share this like, thing you were gonna do…
Sarah: Right
Abby: And were like, “Abby, I just did a thing, and like, you and like Dustin know.”
Sarah: (Laughs) Oh, when I made the Instagram account. I was like, “I don’t know what I’m doing!” That felt, yeah, talk about like, again, messy action, back to like, I felt so like awkward puberty, but as an adult business owner… I was like, is this, like, oh my gosh, “Am I going through this again?”
Abby: Yeah, yeah.
Sarah: I just feel this innate, again, going back to like her and what’s happened last, what’s percolated basically in the last year and a half is just this like, a drive, like we’ve kicked it up a notch, you know? Like full gear of like, I now have, I have a due diligence, just like I had a due diligence back in North Minneapolis to share stories. I have a due diligence with my time on earth, which is finite and unknown, to help people by way of learning from my example. Never once will you hear me say, “This is the way”, never once will you hear me say, like, “I am the end-all be-all result.” I just happen to know a little bit about a lot of things because I have lived 10,000 lives in 36 years and absorbed so much in that time. And so I just feel it on my heart to share also, because of the bevy of texts and emails and DMs I get often saying, “Can I pick your brain for coffee?” “Can you explain to me how to use Canva?” “Can you tell me your entrepreneurial journey?” “How do I shoot in manual mode?” Like all these things and it never once irritates me. It brings me so much joy. But while I am building these other two businesses, which are my heart, and while I am raising to amazing humans that I want to be around for, I have to value my time while trying to figure out how… I remember talking to you bout this, I’m like, “I feel selfish because I want to meet with everybody, but I actually value my time now, which I never have, and it’s very limited.” And you reminded me like, you can actually have a greater impact by creating these digital resources and serving more people at once. I’m actually doing them a disservice by sitting down one-on-one with them because that’s, you know, 10 other people that I couldn’t help.
So I created The Branded Vault, which is, I have my own personal Instagram, which is where I’ve always shared everything, and that’s like, open. And then I kind of thought, you know, maybe not everyone wants to see, you know, digital resources. What if I like created this other account that was really specific? And I remember talking to you because I said, “I am not a niche” and you said, “That is your niche.” And I had full body goosebumps like I do right now. And it literally was like, “Oh, yeah, being a multi-hyphenate is my niche.” And why the heck are more people not talking about that?
Abby: I mean, I’m like massively passionate about it.
Sarah: You are so, which is, hello, what we’re doin that you’re, you’re creating it, but like, it takes some people, it takes them to strike the match and then other people will gather. And I think, I think I just have to be that. We have to be the match strikers-
Abby: Ohhh totally.
Sarah: -and other people will realize, “Oh, there’s a place for me here.” I’m not going to be for, it’s not for everyone. Just like my other businesses are not for everyone. That’s okay. I’m okay not being for everyone. I am for the people that want to learn what I have to share. And I think I know for myself, I’ve bought, I mean, so many courses, so many, I love learning when it’s something I want to learn about. And I, there’s a million people doing the things, but I’m putting my dollars towards the people whose stories I resonate with. It’s them that I want to learn from. And so I have to like, that’s, that’s been the hardest part of this growing pains potion. Um, is just, is it, is it enough? Like, who’s gonna, you know, all the imposter syndrome stuff.
Abby: Totally, but I remember, I remember that coffee day and you were talking about it and saying, I’m just, “I’m all these things and I don’t know where I fit and like Marketing 101 is niche down” and I remember sitting there an going, “Okay, I have to say what I actually think, but she’s like one of my legends and like actually has a background in marketing and like all the things and I know that’s Marketing 101 but actually my personal belief is ‘screw the niche’, like, be who you are, be genuine, be yourself, and show up.” An one of the things that I’m so passionate about is, I am not siloed.
Sarah: Seriously, no.
Abby: I am not just the like, 160 character bio that they give me. I am not the three titles that I’m allowed to throw on somethin, or the one, like, you know, “what’s one thing you want to be known for” so you pick one word.
Sarah: I’m all of them.
Abby: Yeah.
Sarah: I’m a product and a service and a…
Abby: Yeah (laughs)
Sarah: Can I be all of them? Totally!
Abby: Totally. And so when we’re sitting having the coffee conversation and just being like, “Sarah, you are the niche. It’s you. It’s you and your heart for people, for their stories, for creating space and the fact that you’re one of those rare humans where you light up a room an you make anybody who walks in the door feel like it’s okay for them to be there. I’ve witnessed you do that in life with somebody who’s like, I mean, you’ve worked with some crazy people. Like crazy, crazy cool people, like some high-end (Sarah laughs), like seriously, your businesses have served and sold to some high-end people. So you’re talking like as a professional as it gets, to like, you’re sitting down with a stranger on the side of the road in Northern Minneapolis and you ask them to take their picture and you can do it all. You can serve them all and there’s not a difference in how you approach them.
Sarah: No, I was just gonna say, and I approach them just the same…
Abby: …which is magic and like the world needs…
Sarah: …but people are just people. You strip down all the facades and all the titles and I think that’s just what, I just was also raised with the parents who really, like there was no hierarchy. And I remember many teachers pulling me aside, saying, you know, ahead of time, “When we break off into partners…” and I would say, “Yep, I’m going to go with so-and-so” because I refused to let anyone sit alone. And I se that in my kids. And so I just, it’s that fine line of like, it’s also not your responsibility to hold everyone’s heart, but you can do it in a way by your actions that will then encourage them to do that for other people. And then the trickle and the ripple effect and yeah, it’s crazy. Like if you would have told me 15 years ago some of the people that we’ve worked with for linyage and Velvet Raptor, I would never believe it. And then when it’s here, you’re like, “but people are just people.” And everyone deserves to be treated the same. And that again goes back to like, I don’t believe that anyone couldn’t do a small business. Where I get frustrated, or so gritty and passionate, is I just want everyone to be able to feel like they have the tools. Yes, some people are, you know, there’s, there’s financial barriers. Hello, I’ve had to like, how many cameras have I had to rent… I remember starting out having to ask my dad for gas money to drive to the wedding four hours away that I booked because I only charged them $50 and I was like, “Well, that won’t be enough to get gas there and I need to rent a camera, I don’t know what I’m doing”, like, I’ve been through, I’ve done all that. I am not either like above that or on the other side either, I’m just saying I am so dang passionate bout giving people the tools to help them, to empower them. I’m not, you already have, if you have the idea, you want to start a business, you already have that. But sometimes we just need a little guidance. You need a little oomph. And I just, that is, yeah, I get so fired up about it.
Abby: I think that is one of my other favorite things about you is you’re also just like, not a gatekeeper of people. You’re the friend of a friend who has a friend and you’re like, “Oh, you should know my friend.”
Sarah: (Laughs) That is my, honestly, my favorite thing in the entire world, top three, is connecting people. I always say this, my favorite part of my entire wedding- next to like, marrying my husband- was sitting back in the venue and watching and like literally kind of nudging two people together and then zipping away like, “Okay, you two talk now.” Like I love that and Lindsay and I always talk about how like that is the next iteration of linyage, especially like bringing people to a table, sitting someone next to someone that they would never know, and then asking the question, “What do you need right now?” And then wow… what kind of world does that open up? Like why would we gatekeep when we are all on this earth, we all have something to give- I don’t care who you are, everybody has something to give. And I think that’s also, I mean, I’ve never, I’ve never, I always say I’ve never met a stranger. I don’t have that chip in me for better or for worse. Um, I kind of have a neon sign that’s like, uh, on my forehead. Um, but I also, I just don’t, we all were once strangers. Like I don’t really, I, if you don’t look something in the eye, I don’t care if it’s at a job interview or the gas station attendant, like everybody has something to teach you. Um, and again, going back to the common denominator of people wanting to be seen. Gather them around a table, give them the platform and the tools and the skills to fly, and we will all be better for it.
Abby: I think one of the coolest things that you’re doing, and people may or may not realize this, is the creating actual toolkits, and really relatable toolkits, no gatekeeping, so it’s not even just like you are a friend of everybody, which you are, and you were like, introducing your friends to other friends, like you just said, but beyond that, you also are just creating tools that are super accessible, really, really user-friendly to put in the hands of photographers, of business owners, of like, hey, I’ve walked this road before, like here’s all the things that I wish I had.
Sarah: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have to be a bit louder about it because sometimes I feel like I’m throwing a lot at people between wedding dresses and the velvet paper goods and photography. But I think people want to learn from some of the, maybe that- more than a lot of hats. I think that is relatable to a small business owner. So yeah, I’m just, I am just, I’m building these again, off the questions that I get and I’m building them off of, “Wow, what I would have given to have this”, or, “Wow, had I not started with this a little sooner, I could have avoided a few hurdles”, you know? Um, so that’s really where it was born from, and I’m excited to see where it goes. Again, it comes back to wanting more time to, to live, right, to, to diversify my time, but to serve more, to maximize my efforts, because that’s what it comes down to. I think it’s probably apparent now that like, helping people of any variety is my goal, whether it’s finding a hormone doctor for you or a camera or a business, you know, toolkit. I just, I think I truly believe like the hurdles that I’ve been through are only meant to be used to share, um, whether it’s Lyme disease or grief or owning a small business, like they, to me, they’re all intertwined and what- gatekeeping’s never been my thing, and it’s certainly not going to start now.
Um, I just want, I’m also like maybe one of the least competitive people you’ve ever met. So like it’s very- it only makes sense that I want everyone to win, I believe that there’s enough room for everybody, um, there is, like I say, there’s enough room for everyone at the table. There’s enough room for everyone to do like, yes, it is, is it a saturated, messy, loud world and noisy? For sure. And I am definitely someone that gets overwhelmed by the stimulation a lot as well. But my hope and goal of this is again, to help drown out some of that noise, take this tool, and as I always say, you know, take what lands and leave the rest. Some of it will resonate with you, some of it won’t, some of it will be like, “Cool, this is the quick tool that I needed to get to the next thing.” And I think where I’m struggling is just because I can speak to photographers and I can speak to my friends that are starting in their chiropractic business and I can speak to my friends that are nutritionists, and it’s, at the end of the day, everyone’s just like, “How do I start a business? How do I promote it?” Because you don’t get into starting a small business often because you love to market yourself or you love social media or you love, you know, like all these things that hold people back that don’t have to do that. I’m trying to create tools and resources to make it easier for them to get back to doing what they love.
Abby: I don’t think you’re trying, I think you’re doing it. And I, I struggle when you say it’s small businesses ‘cause I think of the things you’re doing and there’s nothing, there’s literally nothing small about what you do except maybe the tags you make, (Sarah laughs) maybe those are, maybe those are technically small. But like, the nothing about your business is small.
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: You are doing your big business, you are taking on entrepreneurship, you are up-leveling your game. Lindsay’s doing that, I followed you guys on social media personally and professionally for years, so I mean I’ve been following that journey and obsessed with you guys and encouraged, but both of you have this really beautiful way of intertwining your messy stories into this authentic, beautiful, nostalgic, modern journey that is like womanhood and business-owning, which is just not out there very much.
Sarah: Well thank you for that. And I’m so glad that that resonates because I think, and we do come from different vantage points too, in womanhood, like we are kind of at completely different seasons, and yet we, it still works really, really well and so I think that’s a really interesting perspective, um, and I think in the last, truly like the, like the last, maybe a year, we’ve really switched, like we are constantly like, okay, we are thinking like CEOs today, not like artists. Yes, we are artists. Yes, we are deep feelers and all these things, but we are business women and with that comes the permission to take up space, which has always been a struggle of mine. And the more we own that an the more we sit in that and take ourselves seriously, it’s crazy how much other people take you seriously, turns out when you do that, uh, you, you, “Oh wait, wait, if I say it, it’s a thing? It’s real?”
So it’s not an accident that we re at like a turning point in our businesses of scaling because we are, we are up-leveling and we are just kind of done with thinking small and playing small and leaning into the habits that maybe worked for us because our ego protected us at that time. And as my friend Care reminded me recently, like, you can look at your ego and say, “Thank you so much, like you’ve done your job, I love you, and now I don’t nee you because this is 2.0.” We are done with that. That part of you got you to where you needed to be and if you want to live in alignment with these goals you say you have, you have to walk the walk.
Abby: Yeah.
Sarah: Like get out of your own dang way.
Abby: Yeah, I’m going back to that coffee conversation we had. We were talking about this, we were talking about businesses. You hadn’t officially officially, like you had made the Instagram handle…
Sarah: Uh-huh
Abby: And we were discussing it and talking about it an, but it wasn’t like officially out yet. You hadn’t released any of the resources yet, which you have now, you have since, they’re out there. But we were talking about it and we were talking about that growth mindset and just talking about how it was really like this butterfly effect happening and we were both feeling it. We were both feeling in our own different ways, in different stages of life and in different stages of business, we’re both feeling like this morphing from a pillar on the ground like very much in the mud, to like, we’ve had this like different, but cocoon experiences.
Sarah: Mm-hmm, for sure, yeah.
Abby: …with trauma, and like wrapping in, and like, very introspective, reevaluating your life. And again, that was loss of your mom, for me, that was divorce. And because we’re super similar, w both like kind of messily went through that publicly, and like all of the things together matched of like personal life and business. So we had this like cocoon moment, an at the same time, we were kind of both like, “Oh, we’re feeling that this is different.”
Sarah: It just feels different, it does. There’s an… it can’t really be pinpointed. And the thing that I’ve been saying for almost a year that I, the only way I can describe it is I’m undoing and becoming. And I just, and that’s like the, you know, epitome of metamorphosis, which you just so beautifully described, but it’s just like honoring who I am and like also what stories are mine to carry forward and what are not. What are facets of me that are actually true and what are what I’ve just believed to be true because other people have told me? Like, “You’re just this like, wild artist” like yeah, I am, and I’m a business woman. I can be both. You can hold both. “You’re scatterbrained”… no I have a really beautiful neuro-divergent brain that allows me to do a lot of things and it means that I learn differently and I process differently, and like, that’s beautiful. And like, amen, we have such diversity and complexity in this world. Um, so I think, yeah, I don’t know if it’s age or wisdom or being tired (Abby laughs) or motherhood, but you just, I think, I’m just feeling this like, shedding. Like I’m doing hand gestures, but like a shedding. So I can get close and not like leaving her behind but closer and closer to the core, more and more in alignment.
Abby: I love that, relate to it on so many levels. To transition, we end every show, you’ve got an outline, so you’re prepped for this…
Sarah: I know….
Abby: We end our show with two questions, and they’re the two questions I wanna know from the people who inspire me. So it’s a two part question. Number one: if you could go back and tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? And then part two, what do you wanna be remembered for?
Sarah: Mm-hmm. Well. So many things I could tell her, and I feel like I’m doing a lot of healing on my inner self. I’m trying to speak to myself as if I’m talking to her lately instead of self-criticism. And that could be partially of having a daughter and younger, but how would I speak to her? And I said it before, but again, one of my favorite quotes is like, “Don’t light yourself on fire to keep your people warm.” Um, and Lindsay actually said this yesterday and it almost knocked me over. She said, “Kill them with kindness, but don’t let the kindness kill you.” Like how do I, you can be both. You can be bold and audacious and scrappy and for people and kind, and you can have boundaries. And that doesn’t make you mean… and also take up space- don’t be small to make other people big, because, in fact, you’re just, you’re not letting their light shine as bright as it could by doing that.
Abby: Yeah.
Sarah: And lastly, showing up is enough and not thinking five steps ahead of what else you need to do and bring and be, like your skills and your gifts, as you’ve reminded me many times, like, that actually is enough, and you’re invited to the table, just as everyone you’ve ever invited to the table is allowed at the table, just as themselves. I would tell her all those things, and I would grab her by the shoulders and also say “Just dry shampoo more sooner.” (both laugh) I can’t be serious for too long… and so many things.
Abby: I just tossed my bottle this morning so…
Sarah: Yeah I’m on the last pump, I know. And what I would say is, what I want to be remembered for is just again, reiterating, I want people to feel- it makes me so emotional, I don’t know why- just brighter and lighter in the wake of me. I want people to feel like their shoulders dropped and their jaws unclenched and everything is a little softer. Whether it’s, I held the door for them, or taught them a skill, or I took their photo, or we had coffee, or I held their baby, whatever. I just want people to know that they have a place, because I know what that feels like. I mean it’s the same reason so many of the happiest people you know are some of the saddest and I think it’s because they don’t ever want anyone to feel that, and I think having been through some tough, thick mud, I think everyone goes through it and it’s important because it’s character building, but I just, it’s really, it’s a really slippery slope to feel like it is my, “What is my purpose? Am I supposed to be here?” Like get into this whole existential hole and I just want people to feel purposeful, meaningful, and that they matter in whatever interaction they have with me, big or small.
Abby: I think you do this so well. You love people so intensely, in such a grace-filled, seeing the mud that maybe they’re in or the mud they’re coming out of, but you see right through that in people, and you see the eyes poking out beneath that and you do a great job of sometimes going, “I’m just gonna come and sit next to you.” And then other times, and it’s what you’re stepping into a lot more now, is going, “I will sit next to you because I’ve been in that puddle.” But actually, here is a hand, I’m here when you’re ready. I’m here.
Sarah: I’ve noticed that a lot when I’m, you know, kneeling down in front of my kid and they are not ready and they’re having a full meltdown and they’re not ready to talk. I say, “I’m here, and I’m going to regulate myself because that’s hard. But when you’re ready…” and they always come over, “I will be here” and I find that synchronicity in like, what I’m putting out into the world with these resources and work, like, I’m not going to force it down your throat, you know, but when you are ready, I want to help you feel seen, feel less floundering, and know that like, it doesn’t actually have to be this hard. You can work smarter, not harder. You do not have to beat yourself up to a point of depletion. Let me catch you before you get there- please, please. So yeah, it’s that balance ‘cause people aren’t always ready to receive that. But that’s why I’m like, “Here it is, take it as you wish. It’s there when you need it, if you want it, if you know somebody else that wants it.
Abby: Mm-hmm, you know, it’s what, again, like I think the world needs more of. It needs more of people who are like, “I have learned hard things. It hasn’t defined who I am. It’s definitely refined who I am. And I want to share that with other people.” And so like you said, if you’re ready for that, awesome, and if not, like, there’s a chair that is always open.
Sarah: I love that. I love how you just said not to define you but to refine you. That’s so beautiful because that’s exactly it. They’re not defining, all those things that we say who we are. Thy aren’t who we are. Our thoughts aren’t who we are are, but they are like this culmination, right, they refine. I love that.
Abby: Yeah, and I think everybody gets a choice. I think you get a choice. And we’ve all encountered the people who it does become their definition. Yeah, and then there’s other people and you’re one of them where you look at them and you go like, oh, you’re gold and you’re gold because life just defined who you are. And now you spread that gold to other people. It’s what you do in linyage: you guys create legacy. Like you said, you and Lindsay create massively beautiful art for the world and spirited women and actually just all sorts of women and people who want it, just like crazy cool bridal separates-
Sarah: …and personal- it’s for them. It will never be replicated, just like you were never replicated. gain, it’s all going into like leaning into the person that’s in front of you and treating them as that individual, because they are not in a box.
Abby: Yeah, yeah. And I- it’s literally absolutely beautiful, like what you guys do is incredible. So you do that with linyage, Velvet Raptor… I’ve been on the receiving end of a couple of those cards and your jaw just drops as you’re looking at this beautiful stationary, you know, custom piece of art, really, with some handwritten notes. They’ve been for views (Sarah laughs), handwritten Sarah notes are just this beautiful thing that you just want to frame. And now you’re doing that and you’ve done it in photography for years and how catalyst for the whole thing, which you still do. But then now with The Branded Vault, doing the same thing of just going, “How do I come alongside people?” “How do I tell their stories?” “And how do I create something that leaves a legacy and impact?”
Sarah: That’s so sweet, I’m trying, I’m trying. Yeah, and I think it’s just, it’s just a different way of reframing my experiences. It’s just taking it into a tangible product. And I think that’s like the part of my ego that I’m having a hard time like learning, because it’s not me physically there like creating this experience, you know, with the hand gestures and the hug, how do I create that same connection and that same emotion through something that’s digital. But I think it’s, it shows up in the however I create it. I mean, even in like my most recent course, I did not edit how I wrote because I write like how I talk and it’s very much like, I want people to feel like they are sitting down for coffee with me and we’re walking through it together. Um, I don’t want to be pretentious and feel too over their head. I wanted everything to be approachable and like, “Let’s get on the same level here.”
Abby: Yeah, and that’s exactly how your things are written. It feels like Sarah jumps off the page.
Sarah: Oh, that’s the hope. Thank you. That’s what I’m trying, I mean, that’s like what I’m going to continue to go and there’s a million ways to do it and you can learn a million ways to do it, but I’m just going to continue as I’ve always done, to stay in my lane. My lane becomes many highways and we’re going to zipper merge-
Abby: …and it’s Texas…
Sarah: (laughs) …and it’s, uh, and I just, and that’s just going to have to be okay. And I think that’s enough, I think it’s also enough, so thank you for watching, being here…
Abby: …thank you so much.
Sarah: This, I’m so proud of you. This is so, what’s this, this is why I wanted to do podcasts, but this is like beyond what I could have… you’re so good at holding space for people.
Abby: Thank you.
Sarah: Yeah, this is, this is so important. This is what the world needs, especially as entrepreneurs. It can be so isolating. And everyone, everyone’s just craving community. This is where the internet can be beautiful. It’s things like what you’re doing right here.
Abby: Yeah, I don’t know, I guess I’ve just learned from you. I look at a problem and I go, “Ooh, that bothers me.” But instead of being like, “Oh, I’m just going to talk about it,” I was like, “Well, what in the world could I do about it? Like how in the world could I make that better?” Sort of what Beyond the Bar was born out of was like, “How do I take the community that I’m building, the conversations that I have every day over coffee-”
Sarah: Exactly.
Abby: “-How in the world do I capture that and put it online so other people can participate and be like, ‘Oh, we can talk about that? We can…’”
Sarah: “Is that okay?”
Abby: Yeah, “We can wear our stories like that?”
Sarah: Yeah.
Abby: And be like, “Yeah, actually you can.” And there’s other people who are doing it, and they’re successful, they’re not sitting in it, but they’re out there doing it and we can grow that way together.
Sarah: And you- it’s not forced. This is what you already do at Redemption when you’re handing someone their coffee. You do this all the time in your everyday life and this is just a new platform, right? So like, like we were saying, like this new venture that I’m doing, I just have to remember like, this is just another platform of what I’m already doing and have done and just serving people in a new way.
Abby: Exctly.
Sarah: It’s like, yeah.
Abby: It’s the same.
Sarah: We’re all learning, we’re all learning.
Abby: Thanks for being here, thanks for being on Beyond the Bar…
Sarah: Thank you so much.
Abby: It’s so fun taking conversations we’ve actually had over coffee, having them over coffee again…
Sarah: Such good coffee.
Abby: Thank you.
Sarah: Redemption coffee.
Abby: Redemption coffee. But doing it in a way that… that you guys get to hear. So thank you so much for being here, we will see you next week! Make sure you hit the subscribe button if you want to stay up to date on all of our future episodes.
